Approaching Christmas
by xxxDuckiexxx
Summary: A story, following three young boys awaiting the oncoming celebration. Our three favourite Whammy-boys: Near, Mello and Matt.  Will post a chapter for each day up to the 25th. DONE!
1. December the First: First snow

**December the First: **

**First snow**

The sun had merely peeked over the horizon and petite snowflakes were swirling in the light breeze, slowly but steadily covering the earth underneath. Everything was covered with a smooth layer of thin and crispy snow. It wasn't enough to stay on the ground for very long, as the first rays of sunlight were slowly peering through the gaps between the trees surrounding the orphanage. When the light hit the snow, the sun rays reflected on its surface, making it gleam. One boy was observing the spectacle through his window, his feet bare against the cold wooden floor of his room and his face enlightened with admiration for the nature and its beauty. He glanced away from the sun, still lingering at the horizon, and frowned when he saw his roommate still tucked in bed, snoring quietly. When he angled his gaze back, he saw that the snow had melted and disappeared, leaving close to no trace. He guessed that the ground was a bit damp where the snow had melted, and he saw small droplets of water on his windowsill still reflecting the gleaming light of the early sun. The boy turned around on the spot, as the object of his interest had melted, and once again grimaced against the sleeping boy.

"Hey Matt" The boy said, walking up to the bed and nudging the redhead.

"Leave me alone" The other boy groaned. He glanced up at his friend for a second, and his still dreamy brain couldn't comprehend what he was seeing at first. Mello was stunningly and confusingly alike an angel – His blue eyes still carrying the shine from the snow, his face adorned with a rare calm look, and his hair as a halo around his face. The light from the sun behind him only strengthened the illusion of having an angel sitting on his bed. "God Mello, how early is it?" Matt continued, as soon as he had recovered from the stunning picture, and hid under the covers again, protecting his eyes from the bright light.

Mello ignored his question, knowing that Matt wouldn't be remotely pleased with the answer. "You missed the snow" he said, and nudged him again. "The first snow of the year, and you missed it!" Mello nudged the redhead again. Matt groaned and gave out a whimper, knowing that Mello wouldn't let him go back to sleep. So, defeated again, Matt sat up and peered towards Mello, his eyes as thin cracks.

"It's really early, isn't it?" Matt asked, pursing his lips and tiredly rubbing his eyes. Mello only beamed at him, his morning mood being extremely good compared to Matt's, who was used to sleep-ins. Matt often pondered over how mismatched they were, and how it had happened that they had became the best of friends. As said, Mello was always up early but his mood slowly sank during the day, but Matt was the complete opposite to this; Being too tired in the mornings to be in a good mood, and at his peak around one in the morning. "It's not THAT early" The blonde said, and hit his friend on the arm with his fist, just to wake him up slightly.

"Let's go outside!" He suddenly exclaimed, pulled his still newly awoken friend up on his feet.

"No!" Matt squeaked, and yanked his thin wrist out of Mello's grip. "It's cold outside" He explained and put his arms around his torso to warm himself up, as the other had pulled him out of his warming covers. "And it's early" He whined, but as he glanced at Mello he realized that his protests were in vain. Mello had already decided – and when Mello decided anything it was bound to happen. So the redhead only sighed and let his head fall down. "okay" He mumbled, clearly defeated once again and without a fight he started dressing up. Mello just smiled appreciatively, and joined his friend in the act of putting on socks. Because, no matter how much he detested the feeling of garment against his feet, being barefoot in his shoes would be too cold.

"I still don't like the idea" Matt mouthed as the blond dragged him down the stairs of the slowly awakening orphanage. "Shut up, will you Matt?" Mello hissed and pushed the great wooden door open. Cool air brushed their cheeks, and Matt pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. The blonde, who had insisted going without hat or scarf, pulled the other out and shut the door before Roger would wake up and catch them on the threshold.

It was freezing, but somehow warmth seemed to be radiating from the blond who held Matt's hand tightly in his. Without speaking the slightly older one led them through the yard, and into the small gathering of trees at the far end of the grounds. They breathed puffs of air, the wind breezed over them as cold as before, and Matt shivered. Even though Mello seemed warmer, and overall constantly unaffected by the coldness, Matt saw that his ears had turned a quite violent shade of red. He frowned, and looked away, but couldn't help but feel bad for the boy before him who didn't even wear gloves. He was afraid that his friend would become sick. He pulled his hat off, and pushed it down over Mello's head. "You're freezing" Matt whined, and Mello turned around to face him. His nose as red as his ears had been. The blond only looked at him, at first seemingly indifferently, before a small smile stretched his thin lips and the smile reached his azure blue eyes. The hair, now slightly pushed down by the woolen hat, curled around his cheeks, strands messily sticking out at random. Matt stood there, tantalized by the rare smile Mello beamed at him, before he had the chance to move or to react, the other suddenly moved.

"What are you staring at, dumbass!" Mello hit him carefully on the head to bring him back to the surface of the earth. "You were spacing out again" Mello commentated, as he had done his friend a great favour. "Come on!" He continued, and grabbed Matt's wrist with his ice-cold fingers. He pulled the younger one with him, a pair of metres through the trees, until they reached a coppice. The trees stood tightly around the spot of clear ground, damp twigs covering the ground.

"Here" The blonde decided, kicked a small rock aside, before he lay down on the damp ground. Some of the twigs cracked noisily, the sound carried easily through the crisp air.

"What are you doing?" Air puffed out through Matt's mouth as he breathed out the word, in a nervous laughter. However, the blonde boy didn't laugh, but a calm smile was spread across his features. Matt almost couldn't believe his luck of being blessed with not only but, but two, smiles from his friend. In less than an hour. Oh, well it was morning. Mello was unfairly happy during the early hours of the day.

"Shut up." The other suggested, and the smile was replaced by a determined look. A look that was awfully common on his face, compared to the smile that had graced his face a few seconds earlier. The redhead followed his advice, and only observed his friend.

As he did so the blonde closed his eyes, his eyelashes surprisingly dark against the pale skin underneath. During summer, Matt knew by experience, Mello would easily get tanned. But now, in the cold beginning of the winter, his skin was as pale as Matt's. Who spent most of his days inside and, especially throughout summer, as far away from the sun's reach as possible. When Mello let him, of course. Mello was slowly moving now, and it caught Matt's interest. He slid his arms up in a coordinated movement, his bare fingertips barely touching above his head, before he slid the arms back, until they reached his sides. After this he repeated the gesture a couple of times. It took a while for Matt to comprehend what Mello was doing, and some seconds before he saw the connection.

Once again he started to laugh, puffs of air escaping his mouth in rhythmic prods. "Mello" He asked, leaning down over him. "Are you making a snowangel?"

The blonde, who seemed satisfied with his finished ritual, opened his eyes hastily. A look, that Matt interpreted as offended, had emerged on Mello's neat features. Furrowing his thin brows over his round eyes and the corner of his lips turned downwards, his dry lips wrinkled. "It's tradition" He defended himself, and rose up. Grabbing a firm hold on Matt's arm as he heaved himself up on his feet. He started to brush of some twigs that clutched his jacket, and apparently he considered the explanation sufficient.

"You can't do a snowangel without snow" Matt stated, his hands safely buried inside his pockets, as the cold crept closer by the minute they stood still.

"I can." Mello retorted lamely, with a slight shrug. "It was snow before. You were just too sleepy to get up and watch it."

In silent agreement they both started walking back towards the orphanage, best being back before Roger woke up. Or realized they had been gone.

"Statement still stands. You still can't make a SNOWangel without SNOW, stupid" Matt said, but it was obvious on his tone that he was joking.

"Shut up! Just because you have no imagination!" Mello breathed out, in a honest laugh. And when Matt angled his gaze towards him, he saw that he was his smile was as beaming as before. That was the third time this morning; This must be his Lucky Day.

**-Authors note-**

**Yeah! There you have it, the first chapter in my FanfictionChristmasCalendar. I know it's pretty uneventful, and you'll guys will have to wait for the real action to begin. I want the chapters to be pretty independent, and not relying on each other too much. Yeah. Eh, review? PLEASE. **


	2. Dec the 2nd: Solitude of a Snowflake

**December the Second:**

**The Solitude of a Snowflake**

The wind had seemed restless during the night. It had roared outside his window, and a consequence of this had been that the branches of a tree positioned outside had scraped the glass of his window. However, as the morning came, the wind had calmed down. Instead of roaring furiously, hitting the panel of the orphanage hard with each blow, it settled to rustle some dry twigs scattered over the grounds. Compared to the day before, the sun wasn't present. A thick layer of mist covered the atmosphere, and only dim sunrays made their way through the heavy covering. Nevertheless, snowflakes were falling, swirling through the air, carried by playful breezes. One by one, isolated from one another by the stubborn coil. The boy had parted his lips slightly, his cheek pressing against the cool structure of the window, his hot breath creating condensation on its otherwise glassy surface. His unblinking unnaturally large eyes twitched when it noticed something moving in the corner of his eye, immediately angling his direct gaze towards it. It was a large snowflake – No, he corrected his thoughts, it was two snowflakes that had collided in the air and merged to one. He followed it curiously, as the breeze carried it slowly, taunting it as a cat who played with its food. Knowing the destiny of the snowflakes, Near thought that the wind was cruel. Letting the snowflake slowly drop in height, and then let it swirl up into the air seconds before it would have met its destiny on the hard ground.

The merged snowflakes fell out of reach of his eyes, and he sighed. Two of his tender and pale fingers had found their way up to his pearl white hair, starting to curl some strands between them with a bored non-expression crossed over his features. He moved his porcelain pale face away from the window, his cheek which had been pressed against it was remarkably chiller than the other. He let his hand, which wasn't occupied with twirling his hair, move over his cold cheek.

Near was the youngest of the students that had an own room. It wasn't that he would mind sharing, as much that it was that others didn't want to share with him. He was a lonely child, and had always been. However, did fit him quite well. At least, it had fitted him. He had never known anything else, he had only known solitude. His odd appearance, and even more peculiar way of behaving, had always provided a space between him and other children, and some adults as well. He neither acted like a child, nor an adult. He chose his words carefully, and only spoke when he had something to say, but he still had somewhat childish points as he spoke – Often remarking other's flaws, or intentionally trying to get them lost in the mass of information he could manage to get out. His socially awkwardness seemed to be something he had chose himself, as he was, according to his intentionally remarks, aware of his own peculiar behaviour.

Yet, Near thought it was better this way. Noone around to hurt him, and he had time to play. As much as he wanted.

He arose from his sitting position at the window, his oversized clothes wrinkled as he moved, and he shuffled towards the door, his socks gliding over the flat polished wooden surface of the floor. He leant towards the door, and slid it open by the weight of his small and neat body. It slowly glided open, creaked when it reached a special angle, and Near slid out carefully. He let his door stay open as he walked down the corridor, one of his hands still reaching up into the strands of his hair which was haphazardly folded.

Some boys ran up the stairs, when he was on the brink down of it, and they suddenly decreased their speed, to avoid pushing the boy off balance. All of them pressed themselves against the wall, as Near walked passed them in the middle of the stairs. A collective shudder went through their bodies as the ice cold porcelain boy had passed. Near acted as he hadn't noticed, but knew well how the other's reacted to him. He was some sort of attraction – Like a new kid always was, but Near never had become a normality inside the orphanage. Add up his spot as the number one, and the equation was complete. He would never been considered just another child at his orphanage; He would be remembered, rumored about and attention would always be given to him.

_So, _Near thought, _in a way I'll always have company in my loneliness. _

He entered the kitchen; his gaze still unblinkingly staring forwards and his fingers obsessively twirling the strands of hair fixed between his fingers, and moved in the same shuffling motion as before towards the fridge. He reached up for the milk and poured it into a tall glass. He heard footsteps, which abruptly made a halt around the door. Near didn't turn around, and he didn't have to because the steps were resumed after a couple of seconds.

This time Near glanced over his shoulder, and met a intensive glare opposite to his own. The azure blue eyes stared into his, particularly flowing with emotion compared to his own apathetic gaze.

In opposite of Mello, Near had always liked his arch-rival, and didn't really consider him as such. He knew that he was logically more evolved than his blonde older rival, and was very confident when it came to comparing their results, knowing that he was by no competition the winner. However, the one obsessed with being triumphant wasn't Near. A quirky smile, that didn't reach his dead eyes, adorned the pale boys face as he saw the anger and frustration reflected in Mello's eyes. As said, in a way he felt that he was superior to him, but in another he was completely overthrown. Mello could show emotions, and despite all of his flaws (which included some tantrums in his youth, and sudden outburst of anger and violence now) he was accepted in the orphanage. People believed he was human, as much as they believed that Near couldn't possibly be.

The older boy was securely watched over by his loyal dog who stood surrounded by the doorframe, his swirling radiant red hair poking him in the eyes. Matt had never had anything against him, Near knew. Matt was actually one of the boys who seemed to believe that Near at least have some human genes. But Near had never liked the redhead, too kind and too easy to manipulate; Something that could have been acceptable if Matt hadn't been as intellectual as Near suspected he was. Actually, Near was sure Matt let Mello do as he wanted because the sole reason he didn't want to be left alone. A silly reason, a reason provided by his weakness.

"Move" Mello hissed out of hard lips, clenched together in a forced composure.

"I'm not in the way" Near stated clearly, with a serenity so honest and lucid it didn't sound as mockery. But, every word that left the porcelain boy's mouth was considered an act of evil in Mello's mind.

Matt could feel the tense atmosphere slowly increasing in intensity. He fidgeted with his shirt, a nervous act he often surrendered to when he didn't have any games to distract his restless fingers.

"Are you afraid that I'll burn you?" Near continued, still with the same tone of serenity, but now with the air of obvious mockery.

"No. I'm just trying to .. fight the urge to hit you in the face." He muttered out, reaching up to find a chocolate bar. He closed the door to the fridge with an impressive self-control. Near stood close to Mello, and could hear that his breathing quivered and could see his trembling hands. He glanced towards Matt, and caught his nervous glance. His quirky smile widened, and he moved his gaze towards Mello again.

And the fist connected with his nose.

Matt had a boring afternoon that day, waiting outside Roger's office as his best, and only, friend was being scolded and questioned for hours straight.


	3. December the Third: Grounded

**December the Third:**

**Grounded**

Matt hadn't gone to sleep until early in the morning, his eyes slightly swollen and red after several hours of hard gaming. He dived under his covers and snatched the goggles off his head, putting them to rest upon the table beside his bed. He peered through the thick darkness, which had swallowed up the whole room as the redhead had shut off his game, and saw the contour of another body sleeping peacefully on the opposite bed. Matt wasn't sure if he imagined or not, but he believed that he saw the bright locks of Mello's hair tickling his cheekbones and eyelids. He couldn't actually see it, but Matt was so familiar with Mello's features that it felt like he saw how dark his eyelashes was against his skin, or how his nose was pressed against the pillow swallowed by the softness of it, or even how a soft smile graced the other's mouth. However, that last part was probably wishful thinking; Matt knew that Mello usually slept with his mouth agape. If he listened hard he could hear Mello's soft breathing, and from time to time he heard the shuffling sound as he moved to another position.

Matt closed his tired eyes and let his head relax upon the soft pillow. He pulled his cover closer to his body, his knees brought up against his stomach, and both arms around the pillow. Hugging it like anything else didn't matter. Despite Matt being really good at sleeping, sometime impossible to wake up, he was bad at falling asleep. His limbs ached with sleepiness and his mind had entered a hazily state- His thoughts had to struggle, as through water, to make themselves coherent. But, all the same, he was conscious.

He sighed thankfully as he felt his mind drift even further away, slowly making its way into dream land. The darkness surrounded him and his mouth fell open against the pillow.

Matt had fallen asleep to the brink of dawn, merely minutes after his departure into the dreamland, the sun had peeked over the dark horizon; spreading light over the landscapes under its gaze. The sunrays reflected on the surface of millions, and millions, of snowflakes, which had fallen during the night. Everything was covered in the soft white topping, approximately a decimeter thick. Both of the boys slept steadily as the sun rose. Mello was, naturally, the first one to wake up. His eyelids twitched as warm light shun upon his face and they fluttered opened with a soft sigh. The light blinded him at first, it was hard to ease his eyes more open as the light stung, but when he had succeeded it didn't hurt anymore. He sat up slowly, running a hand through his hair, his lips parted widely in a great yawn.

He saw Matt across the room, and wondered how he would wake him up. He doubted that nudging him would work, and it would be too boring as well, and would be too easy and too fast. He knew that Matt most likely hadn't slept more than three hours, so he decided that he would take a shower as he pondered of how to make the other conscious without making him too angry with him.

The blonde arose from his bed, shuddered as his feet hit the cold surface of the floor, and moved hastily towards their bathroom, snatching up clothes on the way. Inside the bathroom he decided to take a bath instead, as slow as possible. He tapped up the water and then sunk his body into the tub with a soft sigh. As slow as possible, as he had said, because he wouldn't be able to do anything today either way. _Stupid Roger, _He thought with a frown and moved his hand through the warm water that enclosed his body, _preventing me from going out. _He pouted and sunk even deeper into the tub, the water reaching his chin. He fought the urge to exit the bath for over an hour, wanting to waste as much time as he could. But, when he couldn't hold out longer, he ended his bathroom visit with a fast and pretty cold shower. Alert and barely drought, he put on his clothes, and with his hair still dripping he walked into the room again.

He saw Matt, still laying curled up in his bed with his cheek pressed hard against the pillow. A mischievous grin spread across his lips as he approached the bed. Sneakily he lifted the cover, and noticed how the other boy curled up even more a frown forming on his sleeping features as he let his own body slip inside the warming cover as well. He chuckled as he saw how Matt moved away from him, apparently disliking the damp and cold body moving closer. However Mello didn't let the other move away, and caught him with his hands on his arms. He heaved himself up on his elbows, leaning over the sleeping boy, he bent down and let his wet hair dangle in his face. He could feel how Matt struggled in his sleep, but he held him back, so that he had to arrive back to consciousness. "Mello!" He yelped and tried to turn his face away from the dripping strands of blonde hair. The blonde let him go with a ringing laugh, and Matt drought his face onto the cover.

"Let's go!" Mello said and pulled the others wrist as he sat up. Matt shook his head. "Just five more minutes?" He begged, his tired eyes searching after Mello's. The blonde sighed and let his body down onto the bed again. Matt snuggled closer this time, breathing in the fresh aroma that was Mello's scent merged with the scent of the shampoo. He moved closer, his face burrowed down into the nape of Mello's neck.

Actually Matt didn't need five more minutes, and it wasn't like he was going to waste this rare opportunity. He pretended to fall asleep again, let his body relax, his arm thrown across Mello's body. The scent enveloped him, and Mello's body was close to his. He felt his lips twitch into a smile against the warm neck where he had buried his face. Seemingly asleep Matt shuffled even closer, and sighed happily as he felt how Mello didn't pull away, and instead threw his own arm around him.

Matt knew that what he felt was wrong – Being hugged by your best friend shouldn't cause your stomach to transform into a mass of fluttering butterflies, or making your head light with the sensation of having Mello's hair brush his cheeks. He felt the other's heaving ribcage under his arm, imagined that he felt the other's beating heart under his delicate skin, his heart increase in both speed and strength. It was wonderful, it was making his heart beat and his head spin with happiness. It was wrong; Because Matt knew that Mello only sought his contact because he liked the feeling of being liked. He liked the feeling of having someone who didn't mind hugging him - Mello as a physical person, from time to time craving contact. But Matt had never been as addicted to contact as he as now, as he as to Mello's. It was wrong because he didn't crave contact – He craved Mello. Something that was as distant as a dream, but at the same time touchable in his arms.

Mello laughed again and pushed the other out of his arms. "Matt, stop being so clingy. When will you ever grow up?" He sat up. Matt observed him with his soft gaze, a sad smile written across his mouth.

"I shouldn't have let you become attached to me, I won't be here forever you know. When I proceed L I won't have time for anyone you know" He warned and pulled the other boy up with a fluent motion. Matt cracked a true smile this time.

"You won't need a hacker?" He asked, and Mello nodded slowly, as if he was thinking about it.

"Maybe. But still, I won't have time to act alarm clock for you in the mornings" He arose from the bed and did a slight pirouette. "Let's go!" He decided again and pulled Matt out of his bed.

Matt arose from his bed more slowly, his hair messy with strands sticking out at random. Mello shook his head and approached him again, pulled his hands through the mess of Matt's hair a couple of times, until it wasn't so messy anymore.

"You're staring again." He commentated, and Matt hastily arranged his expression. "If I didn't know better I would have thought you'd fallen for me" He smiled and turned around.

And Matt wasn't sure if he was feeling relieved or sad.


	4. December the Fourth: Obsessions

**December the Fourth:**

**Obsessions**

It was obvious that the winter had taken the orphanage by storm – and that Christmas was on its march. Heavy snow decorated the grounds, some of the younger children had made several snowmans (And a pair of creatures too) scattered all over the field, and Christmas decorations had been brought down from the attic and spread across the orphanage. Mello had been one of the first to escape out of the warming shelter that was the orphanage, and one of the first to engage in a quite violent and drawn-out snowballfight. However, he had been one of the last to come back inside, both wet and cold right down into his bones. His breath quivered, as much as his frozen limbs, but a tired yet satisfied smile adorned his face.  
>Roger was too worn-out to scold him as he messed up the carpet in the hall, as well as making obvious wet tracks up to his room. The blonde threw himself heavily on his bed, and bounced slightly of the rebound of the mattress, Matt only glanced up at his friend.<p>

"You should come with me next time" Mello said, and sighed happily. " It's really fun you know. And productive, if we compare it to sitting inside with your stupid games"

Matt sighed – Mello really disliked his habits of gaming. But the redhead suspected that it was only because of that it distracted Matt from himself, and that he was actually better than his blonde friend at something. Mello didn't like to be reminded that he was second.

"Yeah. Because running around in circles, throwing snow at each other, seems to be very productive" He retorted and pulled his cover closer around his body.

Mello didn't react to these words, he just sat up slowly, started to pull off his drenched socks. "I'm going to take a shower" He informed and pulled of the damp shirt as well. "Can you go down to the kitchen and snatch some chocolate for me in the meantime?" He asked, merely glancing over at his friend, who in return tried not to stare at Mello's body. Mello judged Matt's silence as a 'yes' and walked into the bathroom, close the door around him.

The redhead sighed, but knew that he had no other choice to do as the other had begged him to. He exited the room with heavy steps.

The blonde threw away the last of the garments that covered his slender body, and put the water on. He stepped into the hot stream, and let the warm water caress his muscles and warming his freezing flesh. He exhaled slowly and moved his frozen fingers under the stream, massaging in the water into his hair until it was completely drenched.

He felt the warmth spreading in his body, slowly massaging the coldness away from his tired limbs. The hot water nearly scolded his sensitive and thin skin, causing it to redden. Once again he let out a small sigh, and exited the shower. He drought his body carefully, and moved to put his clothes up to dry. When he entered the room again, this time in a thick sweater and even thicker woolen socks, he saw how Matt entered through the door a chocolate bar in his hand. He shuffled closer and grasped the chocolate before yanking it out of Matt's hand. The redhead sat down in his bed again, folded the covers around him and took out his game.

"You could at least pretend that you're thankful" He muttered, with a small smirk on his lips that he tried to hide from his best friend.

"Shut up and be happy that you're allowed to sleep in the same room as me" Mello uttered, his words harsh but his tone light and jokily. He sat down on the chair which belonged to the desk, and spun it around slowly as he put the chocolate to his lips.

Matt let his eyes roll in their sockets and concentrated on his game, instead of composing a retort.

While eating his chocolate bar Mello started rummaging around the desk. The dry surfaces of the papers brushed his fingertips, the sensation was weird. He didn't know exactly why he was rummaging around the mess, but somehow it felt like he was supposed to do it. Like he had forgotten something – But Mello never forgot anything. That was what he kept telling himself. A paper escaped his fingers and floated through the air and touched the floor with an inaudible thump. Mello's blond hair reached down as he leaned forwards to catch it, the ends curling slightly. His fingers grasped the paper and brought it up into his eyesight. A frown appeared on his face, and as his eyes skated from the one side of the paper to the other, it slowly transformed into a look of horror.

"Matt!" The voice was harsh, and Matt's head snapped up.

"What?" He mumbled.

"We have a test tomorrow! Why haven't you told me?" Mello's voice was blaming and he stared at Matt, as if Matt had done something very bad. Extremely bad. Matt wondered why Mello never thought before he spoke – He knew that Matt never studied, not for tests. Not ever.

"You know I don't study" Matt mumbled, as humbly as he could, knowingly of Mello's unstable mind when he was stressed (As he obviously was, or was going to become in the nearest future).

Mello didn't have a retort to this, since it was true. So he only hissed through his teeth and went to hatch the book he required for his studies. Curling up in the chair again when he had the thick book in his hands, he put his hair into a short ponytail. He immediately started reading the pages that were assigned, and his frown deepened with each word. He could literally feel his heart increasing its rhythm, it felt like his stomach was turning inside him, restlessly coiling and uncoiling. A drop of sweat emerged on his forehead, even though he wasn't hot in his warm clothes. He felt cold, but could steadily feel his skin becoming damper by the minute. He realized he wasn't paying attention to what he was reading – And he read the paragraph again, and again. And just one more time.  
>It burned. His eyes burned and with each breath it felt like the air was scratching at his throat. Once again his stomach coiled, and he heard how he involuntary inhaled sharply – Almost like a sob.<p>

Matt's head snapped, and with worried knowing eyes he observed his friend. He wanted to go up to him and hug him, but knew that Mello would throw him away. Mello always wanted to be alone when he was hurt, something that bothered Matt.

The blonde curled in the chair, brought his knees closer to his chest. For a moment he let his head rest upon his knees, and breathed slowly, tried to will the tears away. He could do this he could manage the test. It would turn out just fine. He tried to tell himself, but another part of his mind reminded him that this wouldn't do it. That he would never become the successor of L if he kept going in this slow pace. Near would always beat him, it told him, Near would always be the superior of the two.

He threw the book violently against the floor, and it sounded so loudly that Matt flinched. Mello was on his shaking legs, moving determined against the bathroom. He was shaking, and as Matt arose from his bed he heard the sounds of gagging from the bathroom. As he entered he saw Mello hunched over the toilet, his face drenched in cold sweat and the corner of his eyes wet with frustrated tears.  
>The redhead bent down beside him, pulled some strands of hair back from Mello's sleek face.<p>

The tears wanted to well out, but Mello held them in as well as he could. His stomach wrenched, and he leaned over the toilet again to empty his stomach into it. But all that came up was stomach-fluid, and saliva. "Why.. why am I so weak?" He breathed out , and rested his chin against the ring of the toilet and exhaled shakily.

"You're not." Matt mumbled. "You're the strongest person I know." Mello glanced over at him, and Matt only smiled a humble honest smile.

Mello throw himself into the other's arm. He started to sob violently, and his hands clutched the other's shirt, as his tears drenched it. His whole body quivered with frustration and desperation to succeed. Matt knew what was happening, Mello's breakdowns happened once in a while. Mello couldn't take the pressure, no one would be able to and no one with as much spirit at Mello had. Mello wanted to do good so much; his burning passion put a lot of pressure on himself. He didn't merely want to succeed, he had to. He needed it. Matt caressed his back with his palm slowly, as Mello let himself cry harshly.

They sat there for minutes, Mello's breathing slowly easing back to normal and his sobs dried out. Mello sat up, drying his eyes on the arms of his sweater. "Thanks" He mouthed, his voice small and his throat sore. Matt only shook his head.

"So-" Mello breathed and arose from the floor, his legs still shakily. "Back to the studies."

**-Authors Note-  
>Crappy chapter is crappy chapter. But, yeah. If I have promised all of you to post one chapter each day, I better post one chapter each day. <strong>


	5. December the Fifth: Jealousy

**December the Fifth:**

**Jealousy **

Matt's life was pretty boring when Mello wasn't there to disturb him. Mello had sneaked out as early as he could, so Matt had been left alone again. But, Mello always disappeared after tests. He wanted to be alone he said – alone and outside. Matt usually appreciated being alone, because playing games with Mello around was quite impossible. However, Mello seemed to have gotten over the 'alone' part, because Matt had seen him indulged in another snowballfight as he glanced out of his window (Really because of a coincidence, he wasn't looking for Mello or anything like that). The redhead couldn't help but to sulk in his solitude and in an attempt to enjoy himself, he went out of the room to find a more interesting spot to play his games. For once Matt had trouble concentrating on his games, something that was very rare since barely anything could distract him usually – Except maybe a nuclear explosion. However, it was hard finding a fine and isolated place which would preferably be comfortable as well. Roger had during the last period obstructed most of his favourite places. The attic had been disabled because of some kids, who had injured themselves as they played up there accidentally falling down the ladder it hadn't been a pretty sight, the cellar was disabled because of similar reasons. Every little nook where Matt usually had spent his afternoons seemed to have disappeared, or to have been replaced by a mass of boxes. The redhead sighed and gripped his gameboy tighter in his hand, moved down from the upper floor. The stairs creaked and the sound was so familiar that Matt felt his mouth twitch into a smile: How many times had he and Mello run down these stairs? How many times had they tired and exhausted forced their way up? And how many times had they tried to sneak up, without making a sound, failing miserably?

On the ground floor he looked around – He didn't usually go down there except for when he ate. The orphanage was deserted; everyone was outside and enjoying the day off, and enjoying the thick layer of snow and warming streaks of a bright yellow sun. He glanced into the dining room, all the chairs were placed in long lines, and the sun peeked in through the thin curtains, casting a ghostly light over the tables. In the corner of the room a large woman stood, she was hunched over and picked something up from the floor. Matt disappeared before she could see him – Didn't want to be accused for stealing or sneaking around without Mello. Mello was the one who was good at sneaking out of trouble when they would get into some – While Matt was good at keeping them out of trouble from the start.

He walked away from that door and followed the corridor down, until he reached another door that stood only slightly open. It was the living room, the big one. Most of the kids spent their days around this room, since it was so big and spacey, and had everything a kid would want. The bookshelves didn't contain books, as you would have guessed, instead they're filled with games, puzzles, pens and paper. In one corner of the room stood the small and thick TV with a cozy sofa and two puffy armchairs crowded around it. A pair of tables and chairs was positioned against the other wall, and the wall opposite to Matt and the door were completely covered in big glass windows. From here you could clearly see the children playing on the field, so close it nearly felt as one was out there with them.

Matt took a step in, thinking that he might claim the sofa since it looked quite comfy, when he suddenly saw the boy sitting in his hunched position in the middle of his room. Matt didn't know why he hadn't noticed him at first – Maybe because his white clothes and hair melted into the polished surface of the floor. Near's head snapped up as he heard Matt's steps halting.

Those big dark eyes had always made Matt wince in discomfort. It felt like they stared right through people, not looking at anyone. "Hey" Matt and angled his gaze away, shuffling towards the sofa. He let his body sink into the comfortable stuffing. Near blinked and kept staring at him, before slowly moving his lips to answer.

"Hello" He said calmly, but Matt could see that something changed in those round eyes. He guessed they narrowed, only slightly very slightly. It made the redhead very uneasy, but he didn't want to arose from his newly claimed spot and go away. Firstly it would be to obvious that Matt didn't want to be near the other, and secondly, he quite liked how the sofa felt underneath his weight.

Matt turned on his game, turned off the sound since he knew that it usually annoyed people, and tried to distract himself with it. Letting his eyes roam the little display as the figure jumped over obstacles and twisted and turned to get to the goal. However, he could feel that Near still stared at him. And he heard that he had stopped laying down pieces of his puzzle on the floor, as he had been doing until recently. Hastily he glanced up at Near just to make sure his suspicion was right, and indeed it was, Near stared at him with an unblinking gaze.

Nervously Matt swallowed. "What are you looking at?" He asked, the nervousness quite obvious in his voice.

He saw Near mouth turn into a quirky smile, a smile that didn't reach his cold eyes. "Am I disturbing you?"

"A bit" Matt answered in a breath.

Near arose from his spot on the floor, and to Matt's horror he took a pair of steps closer to him. His fingers characteristic twirling his hair. Matt could feel how his body pressed towards the sofa to try to keep its distance from the pale boy.

The boy leaned over the arm of the sofa and his eyelids lowered over his eyes. Now his gaze intense as he stared into Matt's, who like a hypnotized animal didn't dare to look away.

"How does it feel to never be truly liked?" The voice was calm, but Matt flinched at the words.

"Shouldn't you know how that feels?" He retorted defensively, didn't like the atmosphere that had closed around them.

Near only answered with another creepy smile. "Well. Let me phrase it in another way – How does it feel to be unimportant? To be transparent."

Once again Matt flinched, the words seeking their way down into his heart. Why did the other child to this? Did he love to torment people?

"I don't know what you mean." Matt lied, and did a gesture that suggested that he was on his way up from the sofa. However he didn't move – It was like he didn't want to hear the rest, but was too curious to go away.

"You do." Near stated calmly. "Don't pretend that you're stupider than you are" _Ouch, _Matt thought. "You want Mello to notice you, but he doesn't. He's just using you, he'll throw you away sooner or later." Matt could feel his heart beat hard, and he didn't want to believe the words that Near spoke so calmly, but it was hard since he had been asking himself the same question.

"He's my friend." Matt said through clenched teeth and arose from the sofa, but he didn't walk out of the room just yet. "Friends stay together." He heard how childish the words sounded, but he bit back the embarrassment.

"You want him as more than a friend."

It felt like the world had stopped, and Matt halted his breathing. The atmosphere seemed thick enough to cut with a razor, and it felt like time was taking a nap. How could Near know? Maybe he didn't know, and just said it to see how Matt reacted. If that was the case Matt was doomed, because he could feel that his face betrayed all of his hearts secret to Near's gaze. Near took the chance and walked closer to Matt, poked him in the chest. "That's why it hurts the most. That's why it hurts that Mello will never care about you as much as you do, or, as much as he cares for me"

Matt turned, and he ran.

Outside the window Mello stood, his brows furrowed together in confusion. Had he seen Matt and Near in the same room? Had he just imagined or had they been talking? A familiar obsessive feeling took a firm grip around his stomach. A paranoid voice inside his mind threatened him with weird theories that Matt wasn't his friend anymore. That he just pretended for some reason. He ducked just in time for a snowball that was aimed at him, it hit the window to the living-room instead.

Near stared out onto the field, and into Mello's confused gaze. Mello could feel himself boiling inside with jealousy.


	6. December the Sixth: Truth and Lies

**December the Sixth: **

**Truth and Lies**

Mello had never wanted to be paranoid; But it really seemed suspicious this time. It didn't matter how much he tried to wrap his head around it he never succeeded. He simply couldn't understand what Matt and Near could had talked about. Every time he tried to come up with something, he only came returned to a bad scenario. Something along the lines of Matt pretending to be his friend for whatever reason.  
>He had gone over the possibility that Near might had said something to Matt, bullied him as he sometimes did to some of the other kids. But, why hadn't Matt told him about if that was the case? However Mello hadn't asked Matt anything yet though, fearing that he might be acting paranoid again. He had in the past made a fool of himself, even though he tried desperately to suppress those memories. Like the time he had thrown off a small tantrum because Matt hadn't shown up until lunch, and in the meantime Mello had figured Matt never wanted to talk to him again. Which obviously hadn't been the case, because Matt had only overslept, Mello hadn't realized even though they shared room. He could be a bit thick sometimes.<p>

Nervously he sighed and turned again, continued his pacing up and down the small corridor. He bit the nail of his thumb and turned around with a sigh, a boy stood in the doorway. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Hey Matt" He tried to manage to get out in a reasonable enthusiastic tone. Matt smiled back, equally formally. "Hi" He greeted and had his hands in his pockets.

"What's the problem?" He questioned and nodded towards Mello's nail, which had a rough end where Mello had chewed on it.

"Nothing" Mello lied and angled his gaze away from Matt's eyes. Despite this he sensed Matt's questioning look, and shrugged his shoulders as an answer. "I .. Just abstinence. Chocolate" He spluttered out, rolled his eyes and sighed.

Matt furrowed his eyebrows under his bangs slightly, his teeth nibbling at his dry lip. He could see that Mello had a chocolate bar in his pocket, it was obvious through the black garment of the trousers. He didn't questioned it, his experience told him that Mello wouldn't be happy if he did. Mello inhaled sharply again, looked up at Matt and then hastily angled his eyes elsewhere.

"What did you do yesterday while I was out?" He asked, inconspicuously. The redhead looked at Mello, and shrugged his shoulder, but a small knot of worry started to grow inside his stomach. He didn't want to think about yesterday. "Nothing really" He said, leaning against the wall next to him. "You know. Played my games and stuff" He looked away from Mello, who walked closer to him to join him leaning against the wall.

"You did?" Mello asked in an interesting tone, something that made Matt raise his eyebrows under the thick layer of hair covering his forehead. "Yeah." He answered and looked away, had a feeling that Mello knew. However, how much the other knew he was oblivious to. Had Near told Mello? That seemed unlikely, Mello wouldn't let Near go unharmed long enough for him to get the whole story out. That left Matt with the conclusion that Mello had seen them.

"Where… did you play tho-" Mello began his new question, but before Mello had the time to finish it Matt interrupted him.

"Okay! I ran into Near." He shoved his hands deep down into his pockets and pouted. "And he was a –" It was hard coming up with an appropriate nick-name. "Stupid know-it-all albino as usual" He gave Mello a glance, and Mello tried not to smile. He didn't manage, and felt his lips crack into a light grin. "Yeah" He agreed and nodded. "He really is a stupid know-it-all, shaped as an albino in pajamas"

Matt couldn't help but to smile as well, the corners of his mouth turning upwards spreading his mouth wider. Mello turned to him and hit him affectionately over the arm with his fist. "You can't let him mess with you!" He whined, a wave of thankfulness rushed over him. It hadn't been anything. He had just been paranoid. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"So what am I supposed to do? Hit him in the face as you do, and earn detention?" Matt suggested, a frown adorned on his features. Mello let out a small laugh, hit him a bit harder this time. However, he didn't seem to have a suggestion for a solution.

"Anyhow you should have told me!" Mello put an friendly arm around Matt's slightly broader shoulders. "Friends are supposed to tell each other stuff" He said simply, his gaze now resting unashamed on Matt's face.

One could still see the childish features in his face; His cheeks a bit round, and his lips fuller than on a teenager. However, he looked more like a teenager than a child. His limbs long and scrawny, thinner than Mello's, and his face didn't have a round shape rather a oval kind of shape. His nose a bit sharp, with just the tiniest bit of upward turn at the end, and his eyes stunningly green under the mess of red hair which was supposed to be a haircut. Mello thought it more looked like a mop than anything else. Mello could also make out the sharp turn of Matt's cheekbones, and knew that that attribute would only strengthen over time.

As Mello observed him, Matt paid back in the same manner. His eyes slowly, almost carefully, sliding over Mello's body. He had never had the same bony structure that Matt had, his limbs always healthily shaped. Not necessarily chubby, no rather muscular. Not big bulgy muscles however, but toned ones following the shape of his arms perfectly. He had a rounder face than Matt, framed by the blond trimmed hair. His bangs were not too long, neither too short. They exposed the tiniest bit of Mello's thin light eyebrows. His lips were curled in a quite feminine way, the bottom lip plumper that the upper.

"You're staring again" Mello commentated with a laugh, and let his palm connect onto Matt's head. "You haven't fallen for me have you?" He teased jokingly, poking Matt in the side with his elbow.

"No" Matt lied and smiled reassuringly.

"And next time; Tell me when stuff happens. Friends don't lie to each other, okay?" Mello scolded him slightly.

"No, they don't" He lied and adverted his gaze.


	7. December the Seventh: Secretkeeping

**December the Seventh:**

**Secret-keeping **

Keeping a secret can be hard, especially on your own. Maybe that's why Matt couldn't keep away from the one and only boy knowing his secret, despite that boys attitude and that he held the hatred of his own best friend, which the secret concerned. Everything about it was wrong: But talking about it might help. It surely felt as it would help. It didn't help that Mello wasn't there to distract him either, once again the blond had left him to go outside and waste some of the energy he constantly seemed to be reeking of. The redhead pouted, tried to think of things to do that didn't involve finding Near and either talk to him or hit him, or anything. He was very sure he didn't like Near in any way – Not as a friend or whatever else. However he didn't hate him with such passion as Mello did: Mostly he thought he only was... creepy. It may be even more creepier because he recognized a part of himself when looking at Near.

They both had the same calm intellect, in comparison to Mello's burning passion, and they both could enjoy their solitude. Near didn't necessarily need to study either, he only did it to be able to beat Mello. Matt didn't study, and still managed to keep third place among the highly competitively orphanage, where children were raised to try to reach a goal that always was out of their reach, and would always be. They both had the same air of honesty, though Matt had strayed away from his pretty far as he had gotten more and more involved with Mello. And mostly, their greatest difference to Mello, they were both aware of their own actions and could see and sense what would happen if they would choose to act or not to. Maybe that was why neither of them did anything much in particular or tried to prove themselves to anyone else. Another great difference was their indifference in becoming the next L – Near didn't want to become anyone else, and Matt was completely uninterested in devoting his life to punish criminals.

Matt let out another sigh and felt his body move up from his bed, where it had rested. He involuntary felt his feet shuffle towards the door and knew where he was going. He couldn't help it; he was going to talk to Near. He knew he would only be able to postponing at most.

He found the other boy sitting in the library this time, even though he didn't read. Near was leaning against the wall, glancing out of the window, following the thick and clumsy snowflakes' travel to the ground. Matt, now when he was here, didn't know what to say, however Near had that covered for him.

"I guessed you wanted a more secure place to talk than the living-room." He stated, didn't look at Matt as he spoke, he gestured instead at the seat beside him. Matt slowly, and carefully, followed the other's suggestion. He didn't even ask how Near knew that he wanted to talk to him – He wasn't even sure if Near had known, or if he just acted as he did. He was a good actor, Matt guessed.

"How.. did you know?" Matt mumbled, not looking up at Near, instead kept his gaze down at his socks. Near glanced over at him, shrugged and let his head slid back onto the wall.

"The way you look at him" Near told him, his hand buried itself into the mess of his white locks. Matt shrugged and threw his head backwards, he whined as he hit the books.

"It's not that obvious" He tried to assure himself. "Is it?" He asked.

Near only shrugged his shoulders neatly. "I think it is." He pointed out.

"Well, why hasn't he noticed yet?" Matt asked, placed his arms around his chest in a protective manner.

"Maybe he doesn't want to see. Or he already has noticed, but pretend that he hasn't. But I would go with the first one – He doesn't want to see it." Near answered calmly and exhaled hot air against the cold window, creating condensation. "Aren't you going to tell him?" Near suggested, even though he knew the answer.

"Are you nuts?" Matt asked, moved away across the bench, sliding further away from Near.

The pale boy only shrugged. "You tell me." He breathed out, in the same monotone voice as before. Matt wondered if he could adjust his voice to, for an example a scream? A whine? Or anything else than that monotone sound.

"He wouldn't take it well" Matt said, curling up on his seat now. "You know that as well as I do." Surprisingly it wasn't too hard to talk to Near, and actually ridiculously easy to spill his heart contents to the other's ears. He was quite sure Near wouldn't tell anyone else, mostly because he didn't have anyone else to tell. The boy glanced over at Mello's best friend, and his eyes narrowed only so much that the eye could comprehend it.

"So instead you're going to talk to me about it?" He asked, a curious tone almost audible in his otherwise dull voice. Matt frowned and shrugged his shoulders hastily as he gripped his legs with his slender arms.

"Are you going to prevent me from doing so?" Matt asked, and Near shook his head slowly.

Matt took that as a good sign and relaxed his back against the hard wood which was supporting his back. He let his legs stretch out and touch the floor beneath him. His hands lowered until they were resting in his lap. "I.. I just.. don't know what to do. I know I can't tell him, and it feels wrong feeling this way. Especially without him knowing – And I'm not even sure what I feel is what I feel. Maybe I'm just confused. You know?" Matt mumbled.

Near shook his head. "I don't."

Matt groaned, "You're supposed to say yes."


	8. December the Eighth: Indoor day

**December the Eighth:**

**Indoor Day**

"I don't want to stay inside!" Mello groaned, but had to interrupt himself to try to prevent his nose from pouring. He brushed with the sleeve of his shirt. He couldn't breathe through his nose, but luckily he hadn't caught a fever. "Matt!" He rounded on his friend. "Tell Roger that I'm well enough to go out" He commanded him. The redhead let his eyes, for the first time this day, give Roger a slight glance. He shook his head slowly.

"Mello is not well enough to go outside Roger" He said, knowing that Mello might hit him for this, but it was better than the alternative. A sick Mello was worse than a frustrated Mello.

The blond threw his pillow hard at his friend, and Roger shook his head at him, before once again announcing to him that going outside today, for him, wouldn't be allowed. Matt leaned forwards, face down onto his bed as the pillow came rushing by. It hit his back, and he sat up, leaning against it. Mello whined, and then groaned, before he walked over to Matt's bed and threw himself at it. His legs flailed only vaguely, as the energy to protest slowly leaved his body. He turned, so that he rested his back against the mattress and not his face. His blue eyes looked up into Matt's face – Matt being too concentrated on his game to notice much.

"Why-" Mello began in a whiny voice, but Matt already had his answered prepared and interrupted Mello with it. "Because of your own good. You hate being sick, and you're a shithead when you are. Honest" He glanced up at Mello to make his point extra clear, before his glance retreated back to his game.

The blonde whined and moved closer to Matt, who moved away. "I don't want to be sick as well" Matt panicked, as he as well hated being sick.

"I'm always making you feel better when you're sad" He muttered sulkily, putting his arm across his chest in a pose typical to him. "And It's like Christmas, it's tradition to be KIND" Matt could feel how his eyes involuntary rolled in their sockets.

"Okay!" Matt gave up and glared at him. "What do you want me to do?" He muttered, pouting lips and irritated gaze. However, when Mello's face transformed from the sulky expression to a beaming smile, he couldn't feel irritated with his friend.

"Let me just.. I don't know. Can't I watch your games?" Mello asked, since he wasn't really up to do anything.

Matt stared at him, blinked a pair of times and then continued his staring. Mello hated his games; At least when they were in the way, or took up Matt's attention. The redhead guessed that Mello didn't have much energy to do anything, despite what he had told Roger, and thus only wanted to be still for a while. Carefully Matt shrugged, and Mello moved closer. He put his head upon his shoulder and glanced down at the gameboy, where Matt had seconds before rebooted the game.

Matt felt Mello's hot breath fly past his chest, and the blonde hair with mixed with his own red were tickling his sensitive neck. Despite all this he sat as still he could, didn't want to strike a move that would make Mello go away. He was very content with having him there, knowing that Mello didn't want the same relationship that eh was seeking, this was as close as he could possibly ever get. He let his neck relax, his head leaning slightly on Mello's.

They sat like that for what seemed for hours, as well as minutes. The time behaved oddly for Matt, passing by in big chunks but as the same time being overly sensitive – It felt like he counted Mello's breaths that became calmer and calmer. It took a pair of minutes for Matt to realize that Mello had fallen asleep on him, and his lips twirled into a small smile when he couldn't manage to hold it in anymore.

At the moment it didn't felt as it mattered to him that Mello would never return his feelings; being with him was more than enough for Matt. He was happy to be privileged as Mello's only and closest friend. Knowing that Mello valued their friendship, valued the time he spent with Matt and their closeness, made his insides warm. Despite knowing Near's view on it, where Mello only stuck with him because of comfort and closeness alone and not because Matt was Matt, Matt was confident in their friendship at the moment. Near was wrong; He didn't have a friend, despite maybe Matt.

_Wait a minute, _Matt thought and reversed the track of his thoughts. _Am I Near's friend? _ He wasn't sure if he considered himself Near's friend – He knew he wouldn't if Mello asked. However, that talk yesterday hadn't been unpleasant. It had been a great help for Matt, and Matt knew that the reason why he could feel so happy now was that he had spoken about it. That he hadn't been forced to keep it inside him anymore.

Did Matt need Near to be happy?

He grimaced at the thought. He certainly didn't want to have to rely on the albino for him to be happy – He didn't really trust him even though he didn't think he would say anything. But he guessed that Near maybe had another plan, because he didn't know why Near would do something for him otherwise. Near wasn't that kind of person that let people make use of him, if he hadn't anything to win on it.

**Authors note!  
>Sorry. This chapter is really uneventful – But this story doesn't seem to be so popular either. I know it's wrong of me valuing my stories judging by how many reviews they have. But, sadly, I tend to do. I'm not going to give this up though! I was sure close to, but in the last moment, a pair of lovely reviewers brought my muse back! Thank you! Really, Thank you all! <strong>


	9. I'm sorry

I'm sorry to all of my readers out there. But I won't be able to write for a couple of days. This will be continued again, but unfortunately I will not be able to continue it until Monday the twelfth, maybe if I'm lucky the Sunday the eleventh.  
>I'm so sorry, but things have come up and I will not make it.<p>

I apologize.


	10. December the Twelfth: Dreams

**December the Twelfth:**

**Dreams **

_Matt's breath was shallow, feeble and quivering. It hurt, it hurt so much. Forgotten tears smeared against his cheeks, arms around his wounded ribs, hands clutching in the darkness. He didn't cry anymore, as he had done the first hours after the beatings. Now he tried not to think about the molding pain in his side, tried to calm his own breaths. He knew that it was going to be better in a while, the pain always went away. The one who had caused him such damage was, as always, one of the nurses at the trashy and torn orphanage. He hated her, he hated all of them. They were old hags, he whispered into his pillow, the exact same words that had caused his beating anyway. _

_The creaking of a bed made him turn around slightly, another boy had sat down on the bed beside his. He looked as forlorn and weak as himself, with a small careful smile across his lips. _

"_This is shit. Isn't it?" The boy said, his hand ruffled his auburn hair. "Was it madame Testa again?" Matt only nodded as an answer. _

"_They hate me because I sleep in lessons" Matt told him, carefully sitting up, his arm safely supporting his ribs. " They always scold me – So I'm not going to lessons anymore" The young redhead said, an oddly adult thing to say. It seemed weird to come from such a young boy, a boy who couldn't be older than seven years old. "You knew that the nurses have a computer in their common room?" Matt asked, a childish gleam in his eyes. The other boy's jaw dropped open, and he shook his head disbelievingly. "You didn't Matt, did you? But, isn't it locked?"_

_Matt gave out a barky laugh threw his head to the side to move his red hair from his eyes. "It was easy" He said, glanced over at the other, a smile across his face now. "Did you get it?" He slowly said, his eyes had found their way to his hands, a rectangular package could be seen through the gap of his fingers. _

"_Well.. yeah." He gave Matt the package of cigarettes _

Matt woke up, sharply sat up in the bed. It was still night, and the dark pressed hard against the orphanage. He was sweating, and shivering. His thirteen year old body was quivering, his fingers the worst. He threw himself up from the bed, walked to the window and opened it to a creek. He breathed in the cold and sharp air, drought the sweat that covered his forehead. He gulped and gripped the windowsill.

He wanted to smoke.

He always tried to push away his past. Everything had turned out for the better when he had come to the Whammy Orphanage, instead of Winsters', so why should he ever think back on that horrible part of his life? His obsession haunted him still, even though Roger had put him through a tough rehab. Smoking wasn't allowed in Whammy's, an obvious rule, that didn't hinder the older kids to do it. They always sneaked into the small gathering of trees, with their backs towards the orphanage. Matt felt a shiver traveling up his spine as he thought about the rehab-session.

He could determine if the rehab-session had been worse than the time in the Winsters' Orphanage. He had laid still in his bed, the door had been locked and the curtains pulled in front of his window. He had been sweating, coiling restlessly underneath the sheets, wailing and crying. Haunted by head ache so powerful he couldn't even think, he had to curl up underneath the cover.

He had come to Whammy's in the winter, he remembered, and had been isolated from the other kids for about two weeks. Before Mello couldn't help his curiosity anymore that was. Matt couldn't help a smile spreading across his features as he remembered how weak he had been the first time Mello had entered his room. Matt had kept his mouth shut, too exhausted to care. He had lost most energy to want to live – So mostly he just laid in the bed, as the headaches rushed past in great waves. However, Mello hadn't been scared by Matt's nearly dead gaze.

"Aren't you going to wish me Happy Birthday?" He had said a bit offended, his blond hair swirling around his face. He looked so real, Matt had thought in amazement. He tried to answer, but merely managed a confused shrug of his left shoulder. Mello however had him covered.

"I'm turning eight you know" He informed him, walked closer and brushed Matt's hair away from his eyes. "Are you sick?" He asked, a bit of worry could be sensed in his great blue eyes. Matt nodded slowly; he guessed he was sick in one way or another. Or else he wouldn't feel like he was dying.

Matt smiled and closed the window slowly; That had been how he and Mello's friendship had began. He smiled, in a way, he thought, he had been Mello's eight birthday present. But, likewise, Mello had been the best present Matt ever could have hoped for. He glanced over at his sleeping friend, and let his eyes graze the clock on the way. Soon midnight, soon it would be the thirteenth of December. Mello's birthday.

With careful steps he walked up to him, brushed some hairs out of his face. "Happy birthday Mello" He whispered, so low that Mello didn't even stir in his sleep.


	11. December the Thirteenth:Lucia's Birthday

**December the Thirteenth:**

**Lucia's Birthday **

Despite the orphanage being of English regime, it had adopted several foreign traditions. One of them was the Lucia, from the Scandinavian parts of the world, and Matt had never liked it. Well, he had no problem with the music, the music talents the orphanage had formed really were something special, however being awoken several hours before the crack of dawn to be forced down into the common room, which temporarily was being used as an assembly hall; was not Matt's cup of tea.

Everyone had gathered in the common room, sitting in the great half-moon shaped ring of chairs and pillows. The youngest children sat in the first row, and Matt sat beside Mello in the third row of chairs. From above them, angelic voices bright and clear were sipping through the floor, in between the cracks of the wooden boards. Their steps only thudded slightly, nearly soundless. Everyone turned around as the door creaked, and the trail of people singing started seeping in. First was the lucia, one of the older students with long blond hair (Due the tradition, even though Lucia from the start was Italian) and sparkly blue eyes. Upon her head was an ornament of four candles, burning – And Matt pitied her hair that, most likely, would be dripped with candle wax. They were all dressed in white, but the girl at the front had a red silk band around her waist and the ends of it touched the floor as she walked, the girls and boys after her also had robes in white but nothing around their waists. All had candles in their hands.

Matt let his eyes rest on the Lucia, who was named Ann; she surely was a beauty with her long silk hair and blue eyes. Actually, now when Matt rested his eyes on her, she did remind him a bit of the boy sitting next to him. He glanced quickly up at his friend, and saw the half lidded tired eyes of Mello, apparently even Mello didn't have the energy to be alert this early, and the blonde hair that framed his face with perfect strokes. On second thought, Mello was more beautiful than Ann, Matt guessed it was because he knew Mello. He imagined the determined gleam in his eyes, even when it wasn't there, and he knew what Mello had been through – Or at least a small part of it. Mello had never once asked about Matt's past, despite Matt knowing he had been curious from time to time, and had a few times comforted Matt through heavy nights. Matt had done the same for Mello, but as well as Mello didn't know about Matt's past, Matt had no idea what the blonde had been before the orphanage. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The songs faded at last, and the room filled with the odor of smoke from the candles that they suddenly had put out. When they were allowed out a rumble erupted, everyone wanted to be first into the dining hall to eat breakfast and get gingerbread afterwards. Tradition is tradition, Matt thought as he yawned greatly and arose slowly from the chair. Mello arose after him, joining in the great yawn. "God" He mouthed. "That was boring. Really nice singing and all, but boring" He said and then turned on Matt.

"So, where's my present?" He asked rapidly, his voice and eyes clearly alert now. Matt groaned. "Up in the room" He mumbled tiredly and let Mello drag him along.

Well up at his room he threw Mello the bar of chocolate he had hid under his bed. "I have another four, but I won't give you them until later. I don't want you to go all hyper on me" He mumbled and lay down on his bed – too tired to even want food. Mello sat down beside him.

"You really have no imagination" He blamed Matt, patting him on the head and pulled his fingers through the thick red hair. "You always give me chocolate, I'm getting used to it by now" He whined, and Matt rolled his eyes, curling up where he lay.

"Shut up" Matt suggested, however Mello had no intention on shutting his mouth. "Do you really know me at all?" He asked teasingly, letting his fingers trail down Matt's side, threatening to tickle him. "I'm a fourteen year old guy now. Maybe I don't want chocolate anymore" He poked him in the side, and Matt jerked involuntary.

He peered at Mello and grunted frustrated. He only wanted to sleep, couldn't Mello let him? "You know what I think?" He asked Mello, who curiously leaned over him. "What?" He asked, his hair dangling from their roots.

"I think YOU should apply for Lucia next year" Matt suggested, this earned him a hard hit in the head with the chocolate, and was the start call to a wrestling fight. Matt, being much weaker than Mello was easily beaten, however Mello didn't hold him down too hard. Matt whined and tried to get away from Mello's clutches. He negotiated. "If you let me go I give you another present" He promised.

Mello peered down on him, and slowly loosened his grip. "What kind of present?" He asked, curiously. "And what if you're lying?" His hands hardened around Matt's wrists again. The redhead shook his head. "I promise, trust me Mells! I promise" He pleaded, a smile adorned his features. Mello slowly let go.

"So, what's your present?" He asked, as Matt pulled him down beside him. He hugged him close, even though he could hear Mello groan and stutter out through his teeth. "Matt.. this present sucks. You're just being clingy as usual" He pushed the other away and inspected him.

"My present is my loyalty" Matt said, angling his gaze up into the ceiling and flipped onto his back. "I'll always be on your side, no matter what. Lifelong promise. I think that it's a pretty awesome gift" Matt continued, pouting slightly.

Mello laughed and also turned so he lay upon his back. " I already knew I had your loyalty." He locked his pinkie with Matt's, holding them up in front of them. "And you have mine – That's how it's always been, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Matt breathed out.

"Best friends forever?" Mello reassured himself.

"Yup. Best-" He made a seconds pause for a slight sigh. "Friends forever"


	12. December the Fourteenth: The Arrival

**December the Fourteenth:**

**The Arrival **

His heart was furiously beating inside his chest, as if it was trying to escape from his ribcage and through his pale skin. He knew it was no idea to even try to go to sleep, Mello couldn't even force his eyes shut for a moment or two. He was too excited, too scared and too everything. He glanced at the clock, which displayed 4 AM, even Matt had gone to sleep by now. The earlier day, at dusk the day before, Roger had told him to be prepared the next day because an important visitor was coming. L was paying a visit.  
>The last time that had happened, Mello had been pretty young and naïve, in his own opinion. He had been five years old, Roger had had major problem with him and had scolded him harshly before the arrival of the detective, to make sure that he would behave.<br>However, he hadn't. As soon as he had heard that someone important, someone that wasn't usually there was, he had tried to find him. He was scared that L might remember that, and thus reconsider placing Mello as his successor, or even wanting to meet him. Although, he was eager to show his worth, to show that he was better than Near.

He stared into the ceiling until the dawn arrived; streams of blinding light searched their way into the room through the blinds, illuminating the room slightly. Matt stirred in his bed as Mello arose, hastily putting on clothes and running a brush through his silken hair. He shot Matt a hasty glance, the redhead had folded the cover haphazardly around his scrawny body, so his feet was sticking out and his face was half covered. He looked peaceful, so Mello left him like that, exiting the room and entering the corridor.

It was deserted, everyone was seemingly still sleeping. It was peaceful, and Mello felt that the atmosphere, if only a little, enclosed him and he himself felt a bit calmer about everything. His mind cooler than usual in the cool climate, and his heart started to calm down.

"Oh, are you already up Mello?" A voice, that the young blond couldn't locate came from behind him. He turned, his hazy eyes enlarging when he saw the taller man standing there. He could tell that this was the rumored L, because firstly he recognized and secondly no one in the orphanage exuded that aura, he was strange and different. Mysterious. Mello couldn't read the black eyes, with dark rings around them, that stared down at him. L was nibbling on his thumb, and was smiling; however Mello wasn't sure that it was a gesture of happiness, as it didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes" Mello turned around, and nodded. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you" He mumbled, and angled his gaze down, willing to do anything to be accepted by the greater mind before him. He heard L giving out a small barky laugh.

"You've changed since the last time I met you" He commentated, and it sounded as it was a bad thing, Mello though. He cursed himself for having excused himself.

L, with his hunched figure, took a step closer to him. "But I've heard from Roger that you're still a bit rebellious" He stated, matter-of-factly. "So, why are you excusing yourself?" He asked, but before Mello had the chance to explain he came with his own conclusion as he started to pat Mello unconsciously on the head. "You want to make a good impression, would be my guess. Mello think that being obedient and quiet is the right way to become a successor, hm?" Once again he patted Mello on the head, his gaze focused elsewhere as he nibbled his thumb. "Just because Near is." L smiled quirkily again, before he leaned down closer to Mello.

The blonde boy glanced up at his, peering eyes now. He didn't like the way Near's name rolled in L's mouth, spoken with that soft voice. However, he didn't dare oppose him, and he couldn't . His body seemed frozen to the floor, his heart beating fast again as L came closer and closer by the second. His heart stopped when he heard the voice.

"That's what makes you my favourite." He whispered. Mello was paralyzed and L chuckled again, pushed a chocolate bar into his hand. "and, yes, late happy birthday" He was gone by the end of the sentence, and Mello couldn't move for about a minute.

Everything seemed so dreamy. He looked down at the bar, caressed it with his fingertips. _I'm his favourite_ he thought and closed his eyes. However, Mello didn't knew that L made a habit out of lying.

**Author's comment.  
>WELL. I'M VERY BEHIND NOW. I'M SORRY AND I KNOW. Don't hate me. I'll try to post a couple of chapters today or something, to compensate. At first I thought that I was going to lie to you guys, and tell you that my internet had been out of order or something, then I thought that it would be better to be honest. I HAVE A SHITLOAD OF HOMEWORK. LIKE AMAZINGLY MUCH. So, that's why it's hard to have time for this one.<br>This chapter.. could have been better, but, hey, still good ey? Maybe? At least decent? Review Please? Pwetty pwetty pleaseeee? **


	13. December the Fifteenth: Possessive

**December the Fifteenth:**

**Possessive**

Well, by the end of the day Matt wanted to strangle Mello. Or at least put a bag over his head. He had been, constantly it felt like, talking about the _great, amazing, super-intelligent detective L_, and Matt didn't like the way Mello's face lit up in admiration and something else that Matt couldn't, or didn't want to, interpret. Matt pouted again, curled up in his seat and brought up his gameboy in a weak attempt to try to distract himself from Mello's light chattering. Mello was lying across Matt's bed, his head close to Matt's side as Matt sat up at the higher end of the bed, resting his back against the supporting wall.

"Maybe I'm not that far off from Near after all" Mello's tone was carried softly by the warm air in the room. And Matt felt as a terribly bad friend for not being happy for his friend. He wondered for a second if he was being possessive over the blond, not wanting to share him with neither Near or L. Mello continued speaking. "Well, I know you know because I told you, but do you think he was telling the truth? Really?"Matt felt another stab at his chest, as he tried but failed to not notice the beaming expression of Mello as he dreamily stared up into the ceiling. _Actually, now that I think about it, _Matt thought, _I don't have any right to decide who he wants to be with. _It was painful, knowing that he couldn't do anything to match L or Near. "But then again-" Mello's voice interrupted his trail of thought again. "Why would he lie? It just seem unlikely that he did, I think. That means, " Mello sighed, a happy joyful sigh as he unconscious about it hugged his chocolate bar closer to his chest. "That I'm his favorite."

Matt tried, with all of his might, to not recognize the way Mello practically swooned like a lovesick girl thinking about his idol, and tried so hard to concentrate on his game. But Mello wasn't the only distraction, his own thoughts did quite a good job not letting him sneak away. His guilty conscience repeatedly told him that he had no right to decide over Mello, and that his anger was unreasonable. But, at the same time, a monster seemed to roam inside him. Why didn't Mello notice him? Why should he, Matt, who always was there for him, always took his shit but nevertheless always stood solid beside him, only be in the back of Mello's mind, as Near and L occupied everything else? _It wasn't fair_, Matt thought and didn't even try to avoid the barrel that was killing him in the game.

"Matt ?" Came Mello's voice from beside him, and he angled his gaze towards the blonde. Mello looked up at him, with a confounded and worried blue gaze, his hair playfully thrown around his head, strands of it tickling his forehead and cheeks. "You didn't answer me. You suddenly became all quiet and stuff" He informed the redhead, who apparently had mirrored Mello's confused expression. "I.." Matt began, the monster inside him roaring again, tearing his insides. "I- Eh, sorry. I was playing.. and stuff, I didn't hear the question" He hastily excused himself, which earned him a light hit on his leg with Mello's closed fist. "Well. Listen, I'm talking to you" Mello growled playfully, kept smiling.

But beneath that smile Mello's mind was still confounded over Matt's peculiar behavior. He hadn't been concentrating on the game, because his gaze had been concentrated on something far away, his eyes unfocused and his features tense. As if he had been thinking really hard, and his eyes had been sad. But, Mello tried to not think about it. Well, it was a bit weird, he confessed, but surely it wasn't anything he could do to fix it. He dismissed it as something odd, but nothing serious. Matt had just spaced out or something, nothing to get worried about. He wasn't sure why he didn't let his brain conclude anything further, maybe because he didn't want to waste energy on it, or that he was afraid of what he might encounter. He coughed and continued to talk.

"Well, I asked you what you thought about it" Mello clarified, staring up at Matt, who had moved his eyes to the display of his gameboy again.

"I dunno" He only mumbled, eyes darting over the screen again as he smashed the buttons fast. He opened his mouth again, as if to say something, but let it fall shut. Again he opened it and forced out the words. "I guess it's true. You know-" It even hurt to say it, because firstly he doubted that L had been serious and secondly, because if it was true Mello would undoubtedly rather be with L than with him. "Why would he lie" He finished and forced a smile.

Mello beamed again, carefully taking a small bite of the chocolate bar. He couldn't help the smile that was plastered across his features, he was too happy to not let it show. He was L's favorite, Near surely had no chance, and everything finally seemed to be worth the struggle, everything was resolving as it should _Life is fair sometimes. _Mello thought and squirmed happily as he swallowed the rich chocolate.

"What if he like, invites me to work with a case or something?" Mello couldn't help but to give voice to his inner hopes. Matt bit his lip hard again, his mind repeating itself over and over again. _He's going to leave you sooner or later. He is. He really is. _The words echoed through his head.


	14. December the Sixteenth: Genius

**December the Sixteenth:**

**Genius**

It was a quiet morning, L lazily concluded as he adjusted himself into a comfortable position upon the wine red sofa in the chambers allotted to him. It was the same chambers he had grown up in, the same room he had for many years regarded as his home. It was positioned high up, and the doors had been shut for many years. The room had never been used for anyone else except himself, something that he was very content with. When he had grown up, the orphanage hadn't been an orphanage; it had only been him and Watari, but as he grew up Watari brought in more kids, and assigned Roger to take care of them.  
>L could easily remember the soothing voice of Watari, as he had tried to explain why other kids also had to live there.<p>

"_L, don't be unreasonable. Someday you're going to need a successor. Someone that can take over when you're gone. " He sighed and tried to put his hand upon L's messy hair, to pull it slightly into place, a gesture of affection for the boy. But L had avoided the hand, glaring up at Watari, still a young teenager. He hadn't been older than fourteen, and he had already developed a strong dislike of children. Even teenagers, both older and younger to him, made him obviously irritated. _

"_Well. Noone will ever be able to replace me" L muttered, popping sugar cube into his mouth and sucked on it. His face still expressing that he was troubled. He had furrowed his thin dark brows under the mess of his hair, and sucked noisily at the treat._

"_Don't be so selfish L. These children are not here for your sake. They're raised to take after you because the world needs it." L had once again looked troubled by this, swallowed his sugar cube before hastily popping another one into his greedy mouth. _

But now he was alone, Watari had gone to visit Roger and discuss something with him. L hadn't even bothered with the details of that, instead he had locked himself up in his room, as he had done so many times before in his youth. However, he hadn't planned on being unproductive at his stay here, no, for once he had listened to Watari's advice. He would invest in some engagement in his supposed successors. Well, he had already talked to Mello, which had been.. if anything, entertaining. However, L was quite sure Mello would never be able to handle the pressure of being the next L, because according to the recorded results, and behavior reports on Mello, he was very unstable. Inferiority complex, fear of losing, aggressive when in tight spots and hotheaded, were only a few of words that described the blond.  
>But, L had seen some qualities in him. He was naïve, childish, but childishness was something he valued. A simple way of solving problems, thinking outside the box, etc.<p>

A soft knock on the door interrupted him, and he opened it.

A young boy was staring up at him, cold eyes, and completely dressed in white. Without being invited he walked in and sat down in the armchair opposite to the sofa. He clutched a toy robot hard to his chest. "You wanted to see me" He stated coldly, a lock between his fingers again.

"Yes." L sat down onto the sofa again, inspecting the peculiar boy before him. "Do you want any sweets?" Near shook his head. L smiled inwardly, well, that was lucky because he hadn't planned on sharing.

Near curled up slightly in the armchair, his empty eyes seemed to inspect the room carelessly. He clutched to toy tighter, its sharp edges cutting into his loose shirt. Despite his outer showing no emotion, he was quite interested in what was happening. He had seen L once, but had been too young to understand, he knew. He wondered why the detective wanted to meet him, he guessed that he had already, or planned on, paying Mello a visit. From his point of view it seemed as he wanted to get to know them, not because he felt like it Near was sure, but to know which one of them suited as a detective. As the most famous detective there ever was.  
>L was looking at him, Near knew, but he didn't look back. Near had no actual passion for anything, not even the as the successor of L. He knew he wouldn't enjoy being a detective, however, being anything else would be even more bothersome.<p>

"Well" L interrupted his thoughts. "You know that you're first on the list. So, strictly speaking, you're the closest to becoming the next L." He stated simply. He had expected something to change in Near's expression, but he was left without any reaction. Near nodded very weakly as an inaudible response, his face cleaned of emotions. L couldn't help the smile; _ Interesting. Very interesting. Comparing Mello and Near, is very.. interesting. _

**[Not so content with this chapter. BUT HEY, LET'S GO. I'm on a roll today. TIME TO WRITE. My vacation started today. SO I'M HAPPY. Most likely I'll post another.. 1-4 chapters today. I'm not sure, but maybe. ] **


	15. December the Seventeenth: Fists

**December the Seventeenth:**

**Fists**

Matt breathed out slowly, the day had been uneventful, and Mello had finally shut up about L. However, Matt wasn't sure it was because of Mello had gotten over him or if it was, as Matt believed mostly likely to be, the upcoming test that made Mello a bit too nervous to see the good in things. He tried to think that it didn't matter, but somehow it felt like it did. The redhead had developed a disliking of L, something that was very unusual for him. Matt didn't usually hate on people, especially someone he hadn't even met. But, L was the exception to the rule. Mello was sitting in the armchair, from the looks of it he was impossible comfortable, with his legs dangling over the edge and his head popped up resting against the back of the chair. His hair was messy, tickling his cheekbones, and his eyes fixed on the book resting in the palms of his hands.

The redheaded boy moved away from the bed, graced the room in quite a few steps, and leaned over the back of the chair to glance down into the others book. He frowned when he saw the foreign language decorating the pages, up and down with words that Matt wasn't sure of how to pronounce. "French" He muttered and flicked the page, and earned a hard glare from Mello who apparently hadn't been finished. "Yes" He said indignantly, and frowned.

"Well, French is boring" Matt suggested, poked the book, he was forced to move his finger rapidly away from it however when Mello smacked the book together.

"Yes" Mello admitted, and pushed himself up a bit into a more sitting position. "Let's go" He threw himself up on his feet, heading towards the door. "Come on Matt!"

He accompanied his friend towards the kitchen. Well there Mello threw himself up at one of the counters, in a fleeting motion, and opened the cupboard over him. He slipped out a chocolate bar and smiled as he agilely jumped down from the counter. He hadn't calculated that the speed he got from this motion would carry him so far that he bumped into Matt.

The redhead glanced down at the blonde, who grasped his shoulder, to regain his momentarily lost balance. Matt was just about to push him off friendlily when he felt Mello stiffen against him, his grasp tightened. Before he had even glanced over his shoulder, he instantly knew who Mello had spotted.

"Near" Mello growled and pushed Matt into the wall as he straightened up with such force. His face was screwed up into an incredulous grimace, and he turned his gaze away from the pale boy. He grabbed Matt's wrist and was beginning to pull him out of the room, as Near opened his mouth.

"Do you have a problem with me Mello?" He asked, seemingly innocent. Mello spun around aggressively, eyes sending daggers towards Near, who didn't seem to be remotely bothered by this.

"Yes, I do!" Mello answered, his grasp turning painfully solid on Matt's wrist, the redhead winced with pain. "Mello.. let's just go, okay?" Matt suggested, through controlled breathing. Mello didn't seem to hear him at all.

"What's the issue this time?" Near continued. "Do you have a problem with being _merely_ second? "

Matt wondered why Near was mocking Mello, it wasn't that usual that Near did. Not in this blatantly obvious way, however. He saw how Near's gaze travelled from Mello to him, and as the eyes hit him, he felt a shivering coldness covering him. Was he suppose to protect Near? Near did have a dangerous snare on him, the only one knowing about Matt's feelings. Matt's brain worked rapidly; would Mello even believe Near if he told him? Maybe he wouldn't believe it, but it surely could open Mello's eyes towards Matt? What if it did?  
>Mello interrupted his trail of thought.<p>

"I'm not second" Mello scowled, something proud lingered his voice now. "I don't know what L has told you –"

"_That you're his favourite_" Near ended, leaving Mello's mouth agape. The expression changed from stunned to anger pretty hastily. "Well, it's your choice if you choose to believe him" Near commentated with a sly voice, and didn't even look at Mello as he passed him.

Mello was fast, letting Matt's wrist go and grabbing Near by the collar violently. "Hey!" Matt gasped, clutching at Mello weakly in an attempt to get him off Near. Mello rose his fist, driven by the look of utter disengagement plastered over Near's features. A bony hand caught Mello's, yanking at it hard. Mello stared at his friend, or was he?, who was pushing him away from Near. Matt was protecting Near. "Stop it Mello" Matt begged, Mello's muscles relaxed for a moment before he restlessly began yanking his wrist out of Matt's grip. His insides flaring with anger.

"How.. How DARE YOU!" He blurted out, his angry glare finding Matt. " Let go of me! Let me get to him!"

"No!" Matt's voice creaked as he it became harder to keep Mello in place. "Mello it leads nowhere!" He tried to reason, and Mello succeeded with throwing his hands aside.

He gave Matt a single last glare, before he walked away, muttering. "Now I know where you stand, at least "

Matt scurried hastily to his feet, hurrying after him. "Mello! Mello, wait!"

**Author's Note.  
>I can't believe that you people really are willing to read this. I'm tardy. I'm so very tardy, TEN DAYS. It's simply sad. I AM SO SORRY; I guess I'm lucky that during these Christmas days you've been as busy as I've been, maybe not having the time to notice my tardiness. Well, I hope I get it done before New Years. CHEERS FOR NEW GOALS. <strong>


	16. December the Eighteenth: Request

**December the Eighteenth:**

**Request**

Everything seemed to have escalated to the worst, travelling down in a downwards spiral leading into misery. Matt couldn't even find the energy to be angry at Mello for being angry at him – He hadn't done anything wrong. Well, yes, he had stood up for Near, something that Mello obviously judged as the worst kind of betrayal. Matt whined loudly and thrashed around in the bed, uncharacteristically restless. Mello hadn't returned to his room that night, Matt knew because he had been waiting for him. He guessed Mello had found some dislocated little nook, where he had slept. Matt pouted again and forced himself up on his feet, he had to find him.  
>Somehow he needed to explain why he had done as he had done, without touching the fact that he had spoken to Near about them, or that he had a crush on him. Which actually was the one sole reason why he had defended the pale boy. Despite knowing that Near most likely had tested him, he couldn't be downright angry at him, he was instead angry at himself for trusting the slippery sheep.<p>

He exited the room with his hands deep shoved into his pocket, and his eyes merely cracks after a whole night of wake. He told himself that everything was going to be fine, repeatedly, as he walked absently around on the second floor, glancing around after dislocated nooks where Mello could be. However, he didn't find him. He slumped down in an armchair in the library and his head sunk down onto the arm of it. He drifted on into a light slumber, exhausted both mentally and physically.

He jerked back to consciousness as someone prodded his shoulder. "Matt?" A mature voice called on him, and he dazedly opened his eyes. Over him towered a man, a senior, with a bowler hat and a trimmed white mustache. The eyes behind the pair of half-moon spectacles were kind, and a gentle smile adorned his lips.

"Mhmyeah?" Asked a still dazed Matt, who rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm Matt" He clarified and got up to his feet, a bit wobbly. "What do you want?" Matt asked, tried to not sound insolent, but wasn't sure if he managed or not.

"You've been requested" The old man told him, nodded his head a bit as a greeting. "I would suggest that you go to the highest chamber immediately." And with that, he turned and disappeared. Matt stared, mouth agape. He had been _requested? _What did that even mean? He frowned and walked out of the library and up the stairs to the next level. Another staircase led to a corridor that Matt rarely had visited. It was a small corridor, with only three different doors. One of them was a bathroom, it was obvious by the little golden sign on it, and the other two, Matt knew by experience, usually were locked. He decided that he should knock on the door to the right first, and hoped that this was where he was supposed to be – because if it wasn't, he surely had no idea where to go.

"Come in" a calm voice answered his knocks, and Matt put pressure on the door handle. The door creaked open slowly, to expose a large dimly lit room. Matt knew that, from the outside, the upper chambers had large windows, and he guessed that the thick darkly red curtains were draped over them. In a curved sofa sat a man, Matt frowned as the pieces started to fall into place. The darkhaired male motioned towards the armchair opposite him. The redhead slowly obliged, closing the door shut behind him.

"You're L, aren't you?" He mumbled as he sat down carefully. His eyes reminded Matt of Near's, dark and impenetrable, inspecting and calculating.

"Indeed" He answered and popped a strawberry into his mouth. "And you're Matt, the third in the line of becoming my successor. Right?" He asked, simply to make sure. Matt nodded.

"Why do you want to talk with me?" He asked, furrowing his brows and crossing his arms slightly. "If Roger has done his job, you already know all about me. I'm certainly not detective material." Matt pointed out. An amused sparkle lit in L's eyes, and he narrowed them slightly. He took another strawberry and observed the redhead as he chewed. He didn't want to become a detective? What a selfish young boy, he thought amused. Roger had done his work, and thus L had read the reports of the young redhead. He had been surprised by the mismatched behavior to the results – He had even brought up Roger to his chamber to make sure it wasn't an error. It hadn't been.  
>Matt always kept one step behind Mello, in everything, in contrast to Near who always was one or two steps ahead. But, Near studied, Matt didn't. And, when going through some of the tests it was obvious that Matt had deliberately answered wrong.<p>

"Oh, so you don't want to become my successor? Is that why you're pretending to be dumber than you're?" L asked, feebly playing with his spoon as he spoke.

Matt opened his mouth, closed it again, and opened it. He bit his lip hard and turned away his gaze. "I'm not pretending" He muttered under his breath. "I'm just not interested" He huffed. L's eyebrows travelled up his forehead.

"If you studied I'm quite sure you'd be able to at least match Near." He stated – Not really true, but L wasn't known for telling the truth anyway.

Obviously Matt didn't want to talk about it anymore, he arose from the chair and aimed for the door. However, he halted halfway, glancing over his shoulder back on the hunched detective. "Why did you lie to Mello?" He croaked.

"I didn't. In one aspect he's my favorite" L shrugged. "He only sees want he wants to."

Matt felt like he was boiling inside and headed for the door again. He now had quite a good guess how Mello felt in the presence of Near – Wanting to hit something hard.

"You got feelings for him." L continued, as Matt tried not to listen. "And that hinders you. And him –" L pondered before he suggested. "You would be better torn apart – Mello works best when he's miserable, doesn't he?"

Matt shut the door violently, and hated that he knew that the words were true.

**Author's Note**

**Personally, I'm not a big fan of this chapter. But, I got no time to be picky at the moment. In two days I'm going off to a friend's house, and until then I should be finished with this story. ONLY SEVEN CHAPTERS LEFT – WOHO! Yeah, L's a bitch. But I love him. [I think that I may have made him a bit too ooc for my taste. But what the heck, we're all here for Matt and Mello, aren't we?] **


	17. December the Nineteenth: Questioning

**December the Nineteenth:**

**Questioning **

Finally, at last, Mello had entered their room again. He was, however, still pretty mad. Even angrier than Matt remembered that he had been when he had stampeded away from him previously this week – But he seemed to have control over it. The redhead let the blond take a firm grip at his collar and then pushing him down again quite harshly. Matt winced.

"Mello" He whined, put his arms around the other's waist, as it was the only thing he could grasp from his situation. "You're back" However, this earned him a hard push into the wall.

"Don't!" Mello squeaked angrily, apparently losing control for a second. "You're not allowed to touch me before we've talked through this" He stated. Matt rolled his eyes at the newly stated rules which he thought were rather silly, but he knew, once again by experience, that disobey an angry Mello never was a great idea. He nodded and slumped down against the wall, staring back at his friend.

"I'm sorry." Matt mumbled, as he angled his gaze down to the blanket around his lap, which he was fumbling with. "I tried to find you." He continued, still now looking up at Mello. "Where were you?" He dared to glance up at Mello at this point, but the blond merely scoffed and crossed his arm before his dark clothed chest.

A pillow hit Matt hard in the face, and though Mello tried to not to snigger, Matt caught a glimpse of his lips twitching. He tried to sound dead serious, though Matt could hear the upward turn of the corner of his lips through the voice. "Shut up. I'm the one asking questions here"  
>Matt took hugged the pillow lazily as he looked up at Mello again, saw that his previously sharp blue eyes had softened into an amused kind of look.<p>

"You only protected Near to prevent me from getting detention _right?" _Mello asked, leaned closer to stare into Matt's eyes as if he was trying to catch a single sign of lies when he replied.

Matt would have been happy if everything was that simple; He would have done nearly anything to flee his feelings for the other boy, and absolutely everything to prevent Near from shutting up about it. If Mello were going to find out, even though he wasn't, Matt would like him to hear it from him. If Mello heard it from Near, he would positively explode of anger and shock. Matt knew that if he agreed to what Mello just had said, that would not change the truth, however he liked to believe it would, so he nodded eagerly. "I told you that!" He whined and stared back at Mello. "As you were running away"

Mello nodded seriously and slumped down on the chair which was a set to the desk, he put his feet up in Matt's lap to rest them. "Well, then-" Mello continued, stretching out his legs in the process. "I heard that you went up to see L." Once again Mello sounded serious. "Is it true?"

Actually, Matt wasn't sure what Mello wanted to hear, thus he was quiet for a moment. Was it good that he had visited L? Or would Mello rage at him for not telling him sooner? But then again, Mello had been gone yesterday and Matt had tried to find him, he couldn't have told him sooner. "Mm'yeah" Matt murmured and shrugged his shoulders. Immediately Mello threw himself off of the chair and into the bed.

"So, what did he say?" He asked excitedly, clearly forgotten about what kind of image he was supposed to keep up. Matt shrugged again, a uneasy feeling starting to form and grow inside of him.

"Nothing important" He muttered, and felt his face heating up when Mello was so close to him, his blonde hair tickling his collarbones. Mello laughed, and instead of feeling the tension fading Matt felt it intensify inside his gut.

"Matt. Stop being secretive!" He nudged Matt on the shoulder with his fist in a friendly punch. Matt felt the plump of tension in his gut intensify ever more.

Mello sighed heavily and rested his head against Matt's in an affectionate manner. Matt forced himself to believe that he was imagining that the other actually smelled his hair rather tentatively. Matt let himself relax into Mello's warmth, and he caught himself with closed eyes and exhaling slowly, savoring the moment. Matt began to explain what had happened – Or, he didn't. He only told Mello that L had talked to him about his studies and such, didn't mention anything about what he had actually said.

"Did he say that I'm his favorite?" Mello asked, beaming.

Matt croaked, his insides felt a bit empty, and he nodded slowly.


	18. Dec the 20eth: Too good to be True

**December the Twentieth:**

**Too good to be true**

Matt relaxed heavily onto the soft surface of the mattress, still deeply into dreamland. His limbs were sprawled over the messy bed, and so were Mello's who lay beside him. If _beside_ was the right word, Mello's and Matt's limbs were so intertwined with each other's that if they were awake they would have a problem finding out which ones where who's. Luckily, they were both asleep and were spared the embarrassment of the sudden closeness and warmth. Matt's head was resting upon Mello's shoulder, his messy hair thrown haphazardly over the pillow to his right and Mello's neck and cheek to his left. The said blond breathed hot puffs of air onto the other's head, which eventually was the reason why Matt awoke.  
>He adjusted his head slightly over the soft stretched skin over Mello's collarbone, and only slowly came back to consciousness. His eyelids fluttered feebly against Mello's skin, which made the latter jerk slightly and hum something incoherently against the top of Matt's head. It took a while for the still dazed brain to understand where he was, and Matt supported himself only weakly with his hands to force himself up slightly.<br>His hand slid over the mattress, bumping into Mello's arm, but he succeeded to prop himself up slightly with the support of his hands and arms.

As his eyes now were functional, his brain started to comprehend what he was actually seeing. Mello, now suddenly free from the pressure that Matt's body had provided sprawled out even wider. Mello bent his neck slightly backwards, making it look like he had _thrown_ his _head _back in _pure ecstasy_ – Matt hastily shook his head to halt the thoughts which rapidly was moving closer the forbidden area. Matt closed his eyes to make it easier for his mind to concentrate; even though the picture of Mello underneath him was burned onto his eyelids. He exhaled slowly, as he noticed that he was hyperventilating. When he calmed down the events of the night before washed ashore, but only vaguely, cautiously as if he was feeling his way through darkness.

_We.. talked, _Matt began and thought hard as he tried to recall how they had ended up here. _We talked for a very long time, _He decided and exhaled again, trying to shut out the feeling of Mello's smooth leg against his. _And it became late, and he was tired. _Matt scrunched up his face in a grimace as he concentrated hard on the memory. It was like trying to hold water in his palm, it kept slipping away between his fingers. _And he didn't feel like crossing the cold floor, so he decided that he should – _Matt opened his eyes and stared down at Mello, who still was sleeping peacefully.

His heart beat fast once again, as if it was trying to play a fast melody on his ribs. Suddenly, now when his mind wasn't occupied, he was very aware of the other's skin against his. How his smooth thigh pressed against the side of his own, how Mello's toes tickled the side of Matt's calf and how his relaxed finger were merely touching Matt's thin wrist. His breath hitched, and he felt how his blood shot up to his face angrily, making it nearly impossible for him to think straight. His gaze lowered to Mello's parted lips, they were a bit dry and as Matt watched Mello moistened his lips with his pink tongue hastily, Matt's stomach was making summersault after summersault as the blood traveled downwards to his lower regions. Matt caught himself leaning downwards, his eyes half-lidded and lips parted. He halted himself only inches away from Mello's prohibited lips.

_If I do this, I'm most certainly lost him forever. _He reasoned, closing his eyes again to prevent falling for the enticing scene under him. _But what if…? _He opened his eyes again, looking down quizzically at Mello, as if the sleeping body held the answers. _Maybe he won't reject me. _He tried to convince himself as he lowered himself even closer. He wasn't sure if he was imagining the warm breath against his lips or not. Finally he slumped down, but angled his face so he landed with the face at the other's neck. His breathing hot and erratic against the skin so close to his lips. _I can't risk it. _He closed his eyes, and exhaled tiredly. Suddenly came a choked giggling from Mello, who apparently had woken up by the sudden weight pressuring his chest and stomach.

"That tickles!" Mello exclaimed breathlessly, as he tried to free himself. Matt tried as well, and after a minute of seemingly worthless struggles they succeeded in parting. Matt was now pressed against the wall, and Mello slowly sat up in the middle of the bed, brushing his hair with his hand once.

"Sorry if I kicked you." Mello said, smiling at him. Matt shrugged, tried to manage to act as usual as possible, he wasn't sure if he did a good job or not. Mello glanced over at the clock again, frowned and pushed Matt back into the mattress. "God Matt" He groaned as he laid down next to Matt again, putting his leg over his. "It's early even for me. Go back to sleep, will you?" He muttered and closed his eyes.

However, Matt couldn't sleep more that morning, it was quite impossible with all the thoughts ravishing his mind and especially all the butterflies which seemed to have a marvelous party in his stomach.


	19. Dec the Twentyfirst: According to plan

**December the Twenty-first:**

**According to plan**

"Matt. NOW!" Mello groaned frustrated in one last attempt to get Matt out of the library, since he only distracted him from his homework. The redhead whined and straightened up in the hard wood seat, before grabbing his gameboy and arising from the table. "You sure?" Matt questioned and turned half-way around to catch one last glance on his blond friend, with piles of books towering around him. Mello gave out a snarl, and threw one of the books in Matt's direction. The redhead avoided it with an agile jump, and chuckled. "Fine, I'll be off" He muttered and crossed between a pair of bookshelves. Melllo heard the door slam behind him, and relaxed against the back of the chair. For a pair of seconds he let his eyes rest, and his mind wander.

Since the confrontation with Near earlier that week, he and Matt had been closer than ever. Everything seemed to be back to normal, however, a bit _too normal. _Mello couldn't really determine what it was that wasn't in place, but something was off. He wasn't quite sure that he minded the change though; nevertheless he wanted to know what had happened. He didn't want to push Matt, but he knew that his best friend wasn't completely honest with him anymore. Mello frowned, wondered for a second if Matt believed that he was stupid or something, who wouldn't have spotted the terrified gleam of his eyes when Near glanced his way. The little albino obviously had some sort of grasp around Matt - And Matt was too terrified to blurt out the truth. He guessed that this was why he himself had become even more possessive over his friend than usual - He got jealous over nothing nowadays, which was not only irritating but could endanger his good grades. He mustn't get too distracted, that's why he had sent him away. _Well,_ he thought, _everything will work out eventually. _

The frown between his brows eased out and he glanced down on the pages of the book again, caressed the dry thin leaf with his fingertip as he read. He worked steadily through the nearest pile of books, very concentrated and working fast. That's probably why he didn't notice the man beside him, until Watari tapped his shoulder lightly. Mello jerked in the chair, as if awoken from a trance, he angled his gaze up to him.

"Uh, Hello?" The blonde mumbled, putting the book down on the table and adjusting himself in the chair so he didn't look so relaxed, wanting to give a serious impression.

"You've been requested by L. He's waiting for you in the upper chambers, where you met him last time." Watari's voice was calm and sweet, and expressed everything Mello wasn't feeling. He was excited, feeling nauseous and nervous – He had no idea why L wanted to speak with him again. Maybe discuss something? A case? What if he would be involved in one? He felt his heard increase its rhythm.

"Okay" He managed to get out, if a bit croaky, before he determined got up to his feet. "I'll head up immediately." He murmured, and leaved behind both his books and bag. It didn't take many minutes for him to reach the upper floor. He hesitated outside the door, tracing his knuckles over the hard wood, not daring to knock on it properly. However, as if using magic, the door carefully swung open. Mello guessed that it hadn't really been closed.

L was once again situated in the sofa, but as he spotted Mello, he shuffled closer to the end of it gesturing for Mello to come and sit beside him. Mello obliged, however too nervous to speak. He sat down beside the detective, who offered him a chocolate bar which he accepted. He nibbled at the edge of it, and slowly seemed to regain his courage. L hadn't said anything, and Mello glanced up at him.

"Why did you call me here?" He asked, at last, halfway through the bar in his grasp.

L nibbled his thumb instead of any kind of sweets, and seemed to be quite deep in thought. He smiled, but the smile didn't seem genuine. "Well… To talk of course" L said, but still didn't look at Mello as he spoke. Mello frowned and bit down at the chocolate bar again, it cracked slightly.

Once again silence surrounded them, and Mello bit his lip. Was he supposed to start a conversation? Was he supposed to wait for L to do so? He certainly didn't want to be rude, or lose his place as L's favorite just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He turned against L to say something, but luckily L spoke in that moment.

"Mello." He said, but stared off into the distance. "You know that I like you, don't you?" He said, in the same tone as before. Mello felt blood rushing through his veins, suddenly very urgent to reach his cheeks and make him blush. To spare L his stuttering voice, Mello nodded. Even though he wasn't sure how L could see his gesture, L seemed to have noticed the nod and a smile emerged on his lips, tweaked the corners of his mouth upwards.

"And you like me, right?" L gave the flustered blonde a hasty glance. Mello hastily opened his mouth. "Of course I do, I've always admired you – and," But L didn't let him finish, instead he angled himself towards him now.

"Do you know what people who likes each other do?" He asked. Mello panicked – Was that a trick question? Was he supposed to know? He blinked rapidly, trying to decide what to do or what to answer.

"I don't know" Mello looked down at the wrapper in his hands, ashamed of his faltering knowledge in this certain area. L sniggered mentally and brushed Mello's chin with his forefinger.

"Well. They kiss" He explained.

Mello could literally feel the blood rushing up to his cheeks again, and how his eyes went wider and impossibly wider. He noticed that he had left his mouth agape, as he angled his gaze up to L's dark stunning and absolutely unreadable eyes._ Was he dreaming?_ L was still staring at him, and Mello was staring back as he was debating mentally with himself. _If this is a dream – Is it good or bad? Do I even want this to happen? _He was only dimly aware of that L was leaning closer. _I guess... I want this. _Mello debated as he let his eyelids fall down over his eyeballs. _L is my everything, isn't he? _

Oddly enough, everything he could think of a s L's surprisingly warm lips brushed against his own, it felt very peculiar having L's lips against his. Firstly, they were warm, secondly, he wasn't quite sure how to kiss anyone since he hadn't done it before. The whole scene was so odd that he wasn't sure how to react, and it only felt surrealistic. As L pulled away he opened his eyes, stared back into L's dark ones.

Mello didn't hear the scuffle, when a certain redhead scattered away from the top floor. However, L was quite aware of it and it was all according to plan.

**Author's note. **

**Well, sorry guys. The newyears and Christmas here has been quite chaotic. Now I have the time to write again, and I surely hope that you're all still interested in this story and the ending of it. And yes, L is an ass in this one. Sorry. I feel that I've totally failed expressing him, and made him way too ooc. Sorry guys again, I'll start posting now again. PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me what you thought about it, pleaaseee. I have contradicting feelings about this chapter. **


	20. Dec the Twentysecond: Telltale

**December the Twenty-second:**

**Tell-tale**

Well, it was unbearable being close by to his best friend by now. Not that Mello did anything out of the ordinary, actually he acted incredibly normal, maybe that's what was eating Matt's insides. He knew what he had seen, and he knew that it had happened, however Mello neither told him nor hinted that anything had happened. Why didn't he? Shouldn't he be freaking exploding with joy? _He had finally gotten everything he wanted, _Matt thought and curled up in the broom cupboard he was at the moment situated in. He kicked the wall angrily and sobbed involuntary. He _hated _L. He had ruined everything, and Matt had a hunch about why the older man had done it. He sobbed again, and forcefully dried his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. He came to the conclusion that he had a choice: One, he could start studying and actually try to beat Mello and Near. However, he would positively loose Mello with that tactic. But his other choice was to wait, and he knew that L wouldn't let go of Mello.  
><em>L surely was a mastermind alright<em>, Matt thought, _an evil one. _He had to prioritize_ his jealousy _and _Mello's well being. _It seemed easy enough in theory – Mello was surely more important, but if he chose that he had to endure _knowing _what L did. What he would keep doing – Matt swallowed hard and shut his eyes. _I can't lose my head_, he lectured himself mentally and sighed.

At least it seemed that the tears had subsided, he was all dry inside. He supported himself off the wall as he, wobbly, stood up. But, he didn't move. He had nowhere to go. But, he didn't want Mello to find him just yet – And the smartest thing to do if he didn't want the blonde to find him was to move. He got up and opened the door to a slight creak, peered out before slipping out through the small crack. He rummaged up the stairs, careful to not get to much attention. Reaching the second floor he heard a voice calling from underneath. "Matt!" Came Mello's voice, echoing through the planks of the floor.

"Shit-" Matt breathed out and opened the door next to him, sneaked into the room and shut the door swiftly. He didn't notice the boy on the floor until he had shut the door, and sighed. Near stared at him with big, uncanny eyes.

"Are you hiding from Mello?" He asked, calmly and angled his gaze back to the puzzle he was currently solving. Matt had, jumpy as he was, pressed himself towards the door quite mortified when he realized where he was. A second or two later however, he concluded that it was quite a good place to be hiding from Mello in. The redhead nodded and moved to Near's bed, sitting down slowly. Near had a single room – One of the few who had, mostly because the majority of children thought he was scary. This was always bugging Mello, who liked living with Matt but on the other hand wanted everything Near had in his grasp.

"Yes" Matt sighed heavily as he buried his face in his palms. He heard the soft click of a puzzle piece being pushed into place by Near.

"Will you tell me why?" Near wondered, but his voice oddly enough didn't sound questioning. Matt guessed it was hard for him to speak with emotion. Matt took a deep breath, and without looking up from the palms of his hands he spoke.

"Well. I saw something." He started, speaking in a stiff kind of voice. He wasn't quite sure how to phrase it without giving too much away. "And.. it got me upset. And he acts like nothing happened" He gave an absurd snorting laugh.

Near earned him another interested stare. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked again, brows only slightly furrowed now.

"Something with L" Matt muttered, his face was reddened with emotion but it was buried in his hands anyway.

"If you don't want to tell me don't. But if you are, just do it" Near muttered, very rarely he seemed to have lost his patience slightly.

Matt grunted again, whined and then peeked over the top of his fingers, before he buried his face again. For maybe a minute he did this routine about a dozens of times, before managing to speak.

"L.." He whined loudly, and kicked the floor hard. "He… kissed him" Matt got out through gritted teeth. He was nearly caught off guard when he glanced down and saw Near, looking surprised which was very unusual. Near hastily composed his facial features and blinked slowly.

"Why would he do that" He whispered, more to himself than to Matt who had gone back to kicking the floor vigorously.

"Because he hates me" The redhead muttered through a frustrated scowl and then a high-pitched whine before he filled Near in on what had happened the previous days; All about his and L's meeting, and exactly what he had seen. At the end of the rant Near only shrugged and looked up at Matt with narrowed eyes.

"You shouldn't care. It's not your business what Mello and L do" He stated, matter-of-factly.

"It is!" Matt insisted. "Or at least it feels like it." His heart sunk in his chest.

"You should tell him" Near pointed out as he placed another piece on its rightful place in the puzzle.

"You should shut up."


	21. December the Twentythird: Wait

**December the Twenty-third:**

**Wait**

Mello couldn't believe what was happening – Matt avoiding him only days until Christmas. He frowned and shot a glare towards Matt's bunk, which suggested that he blamed the bed for not having Matt in it. He got up, it was quite late, but nothing to how long Matt usually was up. Mello scrunched up his eyes, used to get to sleep around 10 PM and was now an hour late for his loving bed, he yawned greatly, but told himself sternly to not go to bed. He had to wait up, to confront Matt. It was even harder not to go to sleep since he had the light switched off, fearing that Matt wouldn't go into the room if he saw the string of light under the door, and that he actually sat in his own bed, as to not wake any superstition when Matt was finally here.

Mello only hoped he would drop in before midnight. He rubbed his eyes and straightened himself up. He had tried to deduce the reason for Matt's distantness since yesterday, when he had seen Matt's red hair disappear around the corner, to never been seen again. He frowned deeply, wondered whatever he might have done to earn such a treatment. But, as he ran through the memories one more time, he only realized he had been exceptionally kind to Matt during the week. Was his kindness the problem now?

As much as he hated Matt sometimes, like at the moment, he knew he wouldn't last a day without him. Mello had accepted Matt to be one of his greatest weaknesses – Not too unalike chocolate, but probably something he would get into more trouble for – he doubted that Matt had understood this fully. He guessed he hadn't. The blond stared into the wall; everything was covered in a thick darkness, and he plunged into his memories head first.

_Mello hadn't been liked among in the orphanage, mostly because of his unruly temper which seemed to change whenever it liked without any obvious disturbance from the outside world. They avoided him, not wanting to play with him since they knew that he was unstable and could suddenly hit someone right on the nose. However, Mello was only a child and was as innocent and had, more often than not, doubled the will to be kind. When he wasn't allowed to play football with the others of his age, he often strayed along the corridors without any particular goal. It had been winter when he had noticed the shut door. It had been locked, which surprised Mello. Whammy's House had many locked doors, but he knew that this room hadn't been locked the week before. He frowned, and let it go, guessed that it maybe would be opened the next day. _

_It wasn't. Not even the day after that. Or the day after that. But, when Mello's birthday arrived, he couldn't help his curiosity anymore. He sneaked up to the room, and picked the lock skillfully. He opened the door and sneaked in. It felt like walking into a wall of a thick scent, and the room was very dark and had only dim lightening. Mello coughed and pried the room with his eyes. The door swung close behind him, and Mello took a step towards the bed in the middle of the room. He rested on the bottom frame of it, gazing at the weak boy with covers enveloped haphazardly around him. _

_Mello couldn't help but to think that the boy occupying the bed looked… nearly dead. His skin was grey, and his arms very thin. His hair seemed radiant in comparison to his bleak skin. He looked, and smelled, sick. Mello pouted slightly. _

"_Aren't you going to wish me happy birthday?" He asked, took a step closer and sat down on the bed. The body in the bed stirred, glanced up at him with dead eyes. Mello pouted again, until his features eased out in a slight smile. "I'm turning eight you know." He insisted, and shuffled closer Matt. "Are you sick?" He mumbled, even though he guessed the answer. The redhead seemed to think for a moment, before letting out a slight wheezy breath and managing two very weak nods. _

_Mello reached forward to push some of the strands of red hair out of Matt's sticky forehead. _

"_I'll come back tomorrow" Mello promised before exiting the room. And he did, and the day after that, and after that. It took a whole week before he got to hear Matt's weak whisper of a voice. _

_Matt seemed more colorful as Mello recalled him when he sneaked into the room that Sunday. Mello beamed at him, and sat down close to Matt. He leaned forwards and pulled some strands out of the other's eye. "Are you feeling better today?" Mello asked, and received a nod. The blonde looked at him for a while, and took up his chocolate bar. He cracked it and pulled out a small piece, which he offered to Matt, who shook his head. Mello ate it instead, as he thought of what to say. _

"_Roger bought a computer yesterday" He said, shrugging. "I haven't tried it yet, it's down on the first floor. Some other children have, and they really enjoyed it. I've never been on a computer before though," He rambled, looking down at his hands before glancing up at Matt. He was surprised to see Matt's alert eyes staring at him, more open than they've ever been in his presence, and with his mouth agape. He closed the mouth and opened it again, not too unalike a fish on land. _

"_Com…puter?" Matt asked, his voice low and whispery. His throat was probably dry, Mello thought. He smiled broadly. "Yeah! You want to come and try it out?" Mello asked, got up from the bed and offered his hand to Matt. _

Mello blinked rapidly, trying to stay awake. He glanced over at the clock, it was ticking closer to midnight. Was he imagining the creak of the doorplanks outside the door or not?


	22. Christmas Eve: Best Friends

**Christmas Eve:**

**Best friends**

Matt hesitated outside the door, listened carefully. Mello seemed to be asleep, and he usually didn't wake up for nothing, Matt thought before opening the door. The room was dark, and he sighed. Mello was asleep; he could make out the lump that was him in the other bed through the darkness. He moved to his bed, dislocated his clothing rapidly and sneaked down under the covers.

Mello wasn't asleep, he was concentrating on not falling asleep and waiting until Matt had settled. He breathed carefully, listened carefully because he couldn't see Matt very well. He heard the noises of Mello shuffling in his bed. At last he heard the other sigh, and took the opportunity to sneak out of his own bed. Roguishly he stalked across the room, and agile as he was, leaped up unto Matt. Fixing his hips beneath his thighs, leaning forwards and pressed the switch to the bedside lamp. The light was very dim.

"What are you doing!" Matt whined, and felt Mello's hands closing around his wrists and holding them up over his head.

"You've been avoiding me!" Mello accused, stared down at Matt who constantly refused to meet his gaze.

"I haven't!" Matt lied. "I've just.. haven't been where you are." He continued, mumbling.

"On purpose!" Mello filled in.

Matt stirred slightly, a bit uncomfortable being this close to Mello so suddenly. Mello's fingers were burying down into his skin as well, and he whined again. Then he sighed.

"Okay" He mouthed honestly. He dared to catch a glimpse up on Mello. His hair was ruffled, and his gaze was faltering slightly, Matt guessed that he had forced himself to stay awake to catch him. He smiled inwardly, couldn't help but to think that the sleepy Mello was a bit cute. However, the scene was slightly destroyed by the way Mello's nail dug into his wrists and how his features expressed, not a friendly jokingly expression, instead a stern, worried and actually hurt one. Matt swallowed down the smile. "I- " He begun, but it seemed like he forgot the rest of the sentence as he gulped down hard once again.

Mello was beginning to feel even more worried. Not necessarily because he was afraid of that he had hurt Matt, he was also starting to feel anxious that whatever reason Matt was avoiding him for would slowly but surely break their friendship into a pile of scattered pieces. "Just tell me" Mello croaked, looking down at Matt who was staring up at him with fear displaying, as in HD, on his features.

Matt opened his mouth again, adverted his gaze purposefully away from Mello and stared into the wall to gather up the small amount of courage he could manage. "IsawyouandL" He said, his tongue stumbled over the syllables and twisting unnaturally in his mouth, the words bursting out so fast that Mello couldn't comprehend them. He frowned down at Matt.

"If I promise not to punch you in the face, will you say that again slowly so I can hear you?" He growled, digging his nails into the skin of Matt's wrist, frustrated that he hadn't been able to caught what Matt had been saying and starting to get seriously pissed not knowing what was going on.

The redhead took in a deep breath; it was both shallow and quivering. "I… I was looking for you-" He started, still having solid eye-contact with the concrete surface of the wall. "And, I was going up to the upper chambers-" He took a pause to sigh carefully. Mello felt how his stomach slowly coiled uncomfortably, as realization slowly enveloped him. "And, well. I know that I don't have anything to do .. with it, with what I saw that is. But, I don't know, but it made me upset" Matt ramblings slowly decreased in volume, until they faded out.

"Oh" Mello said, loosening his grip around Matt's wrist. "You're jealous" He pointed out, a bit surprised actually. Matt had never struck him as a jealous person, Mello was.

Matt closed his eyes, and with his newly received courage asked. "Do you love him?" He hated that his voice came out shallower and squeakier than usual. He had closed his eyes, awaiting the devastating truth which was surely going to hit him right in the face, over the nose most presumably. The only response he seemed to get was silence, and after a minute he glanced carefully up at Mello, who appeared to be struggling to hold in laughter.

"Of course not!" He clarified as Matt still looked frightened. A frown emerged between Matt's eyebrows, asking the question he thought before his mouth could; _Why?_ Mello looked down at him, releasing Matt's wrists. "You don't have to be in love to kiss someone" Mello giggled, causing Matt to stare disbelievingly up at him. _And I thought he was the naïve person of us two! _He thought, and still couldn't manage to speak. "Don't you see?" The blonde continued, a very self-confident smile resting on his lips slyly. " Being the next L is my future," He explained. "And if I can _manipulate_-" Matt couldn't believe what he was hearing, Mello had thrown away his first kiss to reach his ultimate goal? _Why am I even surprised, _Matt thought quietly to himself. Mello would use go to even further lengths to conquer victory. " L to my advantage, it's worth it." The blonde ended, with a broad carnivore smile, baring his teeth to the darkness.

Matt felt incredibly stupid. He should have seen this coming, for crying out loud, he shouldn't have been sad in the first place. It was not his place to decide which one Mello threw away his first kiss to. That was Mello's choice. He felt the pressure disappear from his hips. "Scoot over Matt!" Mello demanded and pushed him closer to the wall as he sneaked under the covers.

The redhead opened his mouth, and suddenly managed to speak again. "So.." He started carefully, turning against Mello, so he could glance up into his brilliantly blue eyes. "You don't… like him?" He asked. Mello shook his head. "Well, he is a genius… and I respect his work. But, he's not that much of company. Not as you are" _Is Mello flattering me, just to make me think about anything else? _Matt gulped slightly. "So, I'm still your best friend?" He wanted to assure himself.

"Of course you are!" Mello obliged, throwing his arms around Matt waist and hugging him close. "You'll always be!"

Matt closed his eyes in the embrace, putting his hand on Mello's hips cautiously, half on half expecting his hands to be smacked off.

**Author's Note.  
>Sorry. This week has been seriously hectic. School is worse than usual, and it's getting to me. I feel really down most days when I come home, which varies from early to late, and mostly sleeps in the afternoon. I'm proud of this chapter though, I think it's very cute. Only one chapter left now, and I have it pretty planned out. Hope that you all aren't too upset and disappointed with me. At least I'll have this finished by February. AND THAT'S A PROMISE. <strong>


	23. Christmas Day: Mistletoe

**Christmas Day:**

**Mistletoe**

The sun sent brilliantly radiant streams of orange as it set, the colours projecting over the thick cloud canopy. The landscape looked dreamy, everything was covered in a thick layer of snow which reflected the vibrant shades, spreading its gleam through the darkening the orphanage's properties. Matt smiled happily, observing the twilight. Nature was absolutely beautiful, and he suddenly understood Mello's adoration of it. Matt sighed with relief, and turned his gaze away from the sun as it was hastily diving under the horizon. Today had been a good day; actually, since last night nothing seemed to be able to get him down. He was levitating centimetres over the ground, or it at least felt like it. He grinned against the window, closing his eyes and letting his forehead collide with the cold glass.

Everything had sorted itself out. Mello was only using L, which made Matt happier than it should. Near didn't seem likely to threaten to destroy everything anymore, and even if he did tell Mello about what Matt felt, Matt thought it'll sort itself out again. Their bond seemed stronger than ever, and Matt found himself trusting Mello completely. Mello wouldn't judge him if Near told him, for Pete's sake, he wouldn't even believe him. He curled up a bit, reaching inside his pocket to fish up the new Gameboy Advance he had received this morning. He prodded himself up on his elbows slightly, as he had slid down on his back in an uncomfortable position. However he didn't even get the time to turn it on, before Mello turned around the corner. He slid forwards on his new socks, the only day of the year he wore sock was at Christmas, and leaned forwards, supported by Matt's knees.

"Christmas is over now" He stated, glancing out. The dark had settled outside, and he could only see his reflection on the glass. Matt nodded. "indeed" He mumbled, glancing up at Mello. His hair had been brushed, so it lay properly over his ears and framed his round cheeks. His shirt was slightly too big, the sleeves reaching halfway down his fingers.

"Did you enjoy it?" Mello asked, turning his head towards Matt, resting his chin against his arms that was folded around Matt's knees. Matt nodded.

"It was the best so far" He confessed gladly.

"Yeah, mine too" Mello agreed and exhaled tiredly. He let his eyes rest upon Matt's features, travelling from the end of his vibrantly red messy bangs to his green eyes, which had strands of his hair poking into them, to his pale cheek, following his nose down to the end of it. He saw how Matt's lips widened in a cheeky smile.

"You're staring" He commentated, and Mello suddenly snapped out of his trance.

"No I wasn't!" He blurted out, chewing on his lips frantically which gave him away.

"Oh, Mello-" Matt said airily as he sat up straighter against the wall. "If I didn't know better I would have thought you've fallen for me" He said, teasingly, and earned a hit on his arm.

"Oh, shut it" The blond laughed , grinning against him again. He yawned and started to get up from where he was resting. "Shall we go back to our room?" He asked, and stretched out his arms. He felt how they bumped into something attached to the ceiling which was lowered in the little nook where Matt sat. "Oh, yeah. Sure" Matt said and started to try to get up. At this time, Mello was staring up on the small object that had bumped into his wrist. It was a plant, hanging upside down from the ceiling attached with a glowing red silk ribbon. It was a dried sample of mistletoe. Matt found himself stuck, between Mello's ribcage and the window.

"Scoot for pete's sake" He muttered.

"Wait just a minute" Mello mouthed and reached up. With talented fingers he untied it and brought it down to his hands, he turned it in his palm curiously, before glancing down at Matt with a gleam, which Matt couldn't determinate what it could mean, sparkling in his eyes. He reached down, and Matt suddenly caught the drift of Mello's hair, he felt how said hair brushed his cheek slightly as Mello, impossibly, was moving closer. Matt felt like panicking, but his body apparently thought otherwise, keeping his body calm and completely still. Mello's lips was warm and soft against his, he felt Mello exhale through his nose right down on his upper lip. Matt's eyes fluttered close, and he only just had started kissing back as Mello leaned back drying his lips on his sleeve.

Leaving Matt paralyzed where he sat, he turned and started walking. Matt's mind suddenly returned, he got up and hurried after him.

"Mello!" He whined. "What was that?" He muttered, accusingly.

"Well. It was a mistletoe," Mello explained, and shrugged. "It simply tradition."

**Author's Note.  
>Last chapter is a short chapter. Well, this was the end of it. I don't know if I'm happy or sad. Hope you all liked it. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this, and faved it. It actually means so much to me – If you could see me reading your reviews you would have known. Logging onto Hotmail, and see that you got four new reviews makes squeal with happiness. Now it's starting to sound as if I'm never going to write anything again – WELL THAT'S NOT TRUE. I'll try to be more active on my other stories as well. ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH! <strong>

**PS. I thought I was clever when I kept referring to the first chapter. Hope you all notice that. 8D Especially the last words. DS. **


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